Thursday, April 25, 2013

Season Finale Mailbag Part 1!

I got carried away (are you surprised?). Splitting this thing in half - part 2 coming next week. Because of that, I'm still looking for a few more questions. Do your worst.

LET'S go!

Jake S:

I saw the trailer for Tyler Perry's Temptation. I kind of want to see it. Is it racist for me, a white Jewish dude, to ask a black dude or chick to go see this movie with me? If someone asked me to go eat a bagel, I'd be down. I think asking a Chinese person for Chinese food is a grey area. But, I do not know what the proper etiquette is for Tyler Perry movies.
"What do you dream about?"
"I don't really dream anymore. What do you dream about?"

Ignoring the racial aspects of this for a second, WHY DO YOU WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE? I've watched the trailer, and here's my take on the plot:

Attractive black woman married her sweetheart and has not been railed by anyone else. She works as some sort of hybrid psychiatrist/millionaire matchmaker where she helps rich dudes find love. At some point, she realizes HEY WAIT MAYBE I DO NOT KNOW LOVE MYSELF. During this epiphanous (new word) time of her life, she notices a handsome black man running shirtless in the park. Isn't she shocked when he walks into her office, looking for love.

Defying all conventional movie troupes, he falls for her (CUE THE DREAMING). The next time they go running, she gets PULVERIZED by a speeding... nerd on a bicycle (don't worry, she's not dead). He takes her back to his bro-palace and tosses a t-bone (innuendo) on her ankle to nurse her back to health. As they're on the verge of passionate, adulterous bone-juicing, her disinterested husband shows up to take her home. THE MEN SIZE EACH OTHER UP VIA PRIMITIVE SEXUAL ANGST GLARES. 

Fast forward a month or so and she ends up on his private plane drinking champagne. This only happens because she puts her guard down after her lover of 16 years forgets her birthday for the second consecutive year (never mind that in the world we live in today - FACEBOOK - I never fail to wish a 'happy birthday' to the Russian line cooks from the camp I went to 5 years ago). The seed of love-doubt has been planted, and they share a sexy-as-fuck kiss with a Rihanna song playing in the background. 

Upon returning home, our protagonista is faced with a decision that will pave the future of her very life: rekindle the flame with dipshit back home, or ride off into the sunset with runner-boy.

This sounds absolutely terrible. But if you INSIST on seeing it, then no, it's not racist to ask a black person to go see it with you. I'm not entirely sure why you think you need a black person to go with you - I didn't feel the need to find a dinosaur to go with me to see Jurassic Park last week and I still enjoyed the hell out of that. Maybe it makes you more comfortable. I have no idea.

UPDATE: Remember those 'Ask a Black Dude' Chappelle's Show sketches? I asked a friend of mine at work WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE BLACK. Turns out, she saw the movie the other day and really liked it. I mentioned your question and she was pretty confused. "It's not a movie about race, so why does it matter? Why's he need a black person to go with him?" Of course I asked her if there were white people in the theater, and she proceeded to count them on her fingers. There were 4, all part of interracial couples. INTERPRET AS YOU SEE FIT.