Thursday, October 9, 2014

Illinois

UGH. Every inch of that game was exactly the miserable experience I expected. It wouldn't be a trip to Evanston without shitty weather, a sloppy game, overeager nerds, and a final score that makes you wonder how it was all possible. How does a team with Melvin Gordon rushing for 259 yards on 27 carries only score 14 points? How does a team that rushed 25 times for 50 yards the week before go off for 203 yards against what was a stout Wisconsin defense? How did Gary Andersen and Andy Ludwig watch Tanner McEvoy throw the ball during fall camp and decide that HE would be the starting quarterback? Oh, I know the answer to that last one! "We want a mobile quarterback who can make plays with his feet."

WELL THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL PLAYS THAT UTILIZE HIS ABILITY TO MAKE PLAYS WITH HIS FEET. Read options, options, rollouts, bootlegs... you know, plays where a mobile quarterback can actually be lethal? Why don't we do any of that? Instead, we get a mobile quarterback with 1 rushing attempt for 8 yards and 10 passing attempts for 24 yards. That is on the coaches. It's not McEvoy's fault that he can't throw the damn ball. It's Andersen's and Ludwig's fault that they put him back there and asked him to be a standard pocket passer. NOT HIS STRENGTH. Here's what I saw in that Northwestern game (I was drunk and haven't re-watched it and have no desire to do so):

THE GOOD:
  • MGIII would be a top 3 Heisman contender if Stave was named the starter before the LSU game. I STILL maintain we would've beaten LSU, and no way were we going to lose to Northwestern if Stave had 4 games and 5 weeks of practice with the 1's, as opposed to coming in cold off the bench at halftime after being mentally mind-fucked by one of the worst decisions Wisconsin coaches have made in a long time. I have no idea what other kinds of mind-fucking there are, but this was a deep mental mind-fuck on Stave. Regardless, MGIII has 871 rushing yards with 7 regular season games to go. To get to 2,000 yards before a hypothetical B1G Championship Game (LOL) or mid-card bowl game (SEC boning, coming right up), he'd need to average 161 yards a game. Illinois/Maryland/@Rutgers/@Purdue/Nebraska/@Iowa/Minnesota. I'm not betting against it.
  • Stave's 4th quarter touchdown drive. Small victory, but he made two throws that McEvoy would stand no chance of making. Given how rusty he is, those two throws alone are enough to confirm what I've known for a while: Sunshine gives us our best chance at winning football games.
  • Schoolbus drinking. Big ups to Will's on filling TWO schoolbuses, allowing for maximum schoolbus drinking. Haven't been wasted on a schoolbus in a long time. Felt good.

THE BAD:
  • That Gaglianone field goal attempt. You might think it should be 'ugly' given how badly he missed it, but attempting a field goal from that distance, on that field, in those conditions... well, it was just a stupid plan to begin with. And if you want to call Gaglianone ugly, then you're an idiot.
  • In the second half, with Stave at the helm, we won 14-10. Maybe this should be under 'good'!

THE UGLY:
  • 4 Wisconsin turnovers, 0 Northwestern turnovers. That we almost came back and stole that game was incredible. You literally never deserve to win a game with the turnover margin that lopsided. Stave's goal line pick was one of the single worst decisions a quarterback can make. The playcalling was probably worse: 1st and goal from the 3 and you have the best running back in the country. Give him the rock. 4 times in a row if you have to. And if you ARE going play-action, then the call is either 'dump to the wide open guy or THROW IT THE F AWAY'. Everything about that sequence was god-awful.
  • Speaking of turnovers, our quarterbacks get ZERO help from their receivers. Stave threw some decent deep balls, and even McEvoy's pick wasn't that bad (idk, again, drunk). But if the receivers are content sitting there waiting for the ball to get to them, then they're also content watching the other team make plays on the ball and making me want to cry. Get up there, high point it, and make a damn play. Big area of concern coming into the season being validated right in front of our sad eyes.
  • The rushing defense. Just, ugh.
  • Playcalling balance. Any time MGIII racks up 260 yards on 10 yards a carry, YOU SHOULD NOT BE THROWING THE BALL MORE THAN YOU'RE FEEDING HIM. In what galaxy do you expect to get 10 yards per passing attempt with this offense? I don't care about time or situation: if you have no passing game to speak off, then you feed your Heisman-caliber running back who was in the midst of ripping their defense apart, one first down at a time.

There are probably 17 more 'uglies'. I'm over this game. Hate it. Done with it. Don't like its face.



CHICAGO BADGERS:
 I'm sure the turnout at Will's for an 11 AM game on the heels of the debacle in Evanston will be super. This is my yearly reminder that yes, even as shitty as they look, you'll YEARN for these gamedays once they're gone. Don't let a silly little thing like a hangover hold you back. Chug water, pass out, scalding hot shower, greasy food, Sugar Ray, BOOM, no more hangover. It's worked for centuries.



WHO/WHERE/WHEN


TV: ESPN2
WEATHER: 50s, MOSTLY SUNNY, SMALL CHANCE OF TEARS BECAUSE I WILL LITERALLY CRY IF WE LOSE TO ILLINOIS


Thursday, October 2, 2014

at Northwestern

Who's ready for a QUARTERBACK CONTROVERSY?
"I feel a lot better than I did about a month ago," [Stave] said. "Obviously, everything around that time was pretty emotional for me. I was upset and frustrated and everything that goes along with it. That's something that I had to work through, but I feel like I did a good job with that."

...

"He's starting to look like the old Stave getting his confidence back," Badgers wide receiver Kenzel Doe said after Tuesday's practice. "You definitely see him in more team reps. You can tell he's starting to get that confidence back, and he's starting to throw the ball like he used to."

...

"If things start to go bad or Tanner gets hurt, through this whole thing I've prepared mentally like I always would," Stave said. "I've watched film, taken notes and done what I need to do to feel like I have a good enough feel for the defense. So just continue to do that. If my number is called, then I'll be ready to go." (via)
I AM I AM I AM.

Listen, we've seen the Tanner McEvoy show. It IS pretty cool having a 6'6 quarterback who can run and juke and take a hit. But it's kind of a lot cooler having a quarterback who can throw the ball with at least a TINY chance of hitting the receiver. Too many times we've seen McEvoy miss WIDE OPEN receivers. That's probably the most frustrating part: those 'layups' that Andersen is so adamant about completing are being missed with glaring inaccuracy. I will ALWAYS believe that if Stave was named the starter for the LSU game, he never would've gotten the shanks, and we would've won that game.

That's why I'm hoping Stave can get his head on straight and work his way back up the depth chart. This offense will NOT be able to thrive against Nebraska, Iowa, and maybe not even against Northwestern this weekend if it's purely one dimensional. Our running game is our bread and butter, but without the play-action throw as a viable threat, we're going to hit troubled waters. I do not like troubled waters.

So keep on keepin' on, Stave. It may be cloudy now, but the sunshine will poke through soon enough. Please.



CHICAGO BADGERS: Well, how about that? Will's IS providing bus transportation to the Northwestern game this Saturday. The tentative plan is to leave Will's around noon, get dropped off near the stadium, and then bus on back after the game. Price will be $25 and include beer on the bus. If you're interested, send me names. Also, if you have extra tickets to the game itself, let me know.



WHO/WHERE/WHEN


TV: ESPN2
WEATHER: DON'T WORRY IT'S GONNA BE OKAY i hope



Friday, September 26, 2014

South Florida

Let's start with this:



Hmmmm. Okay:





So we're clear: Auggie Sanchez is convinced that the South Florida Bulls are going to come up to Madison and silence 82,000 fans. And he's convinced this will happen in South Florida's first road game of the year (they've played 4 home games), after they lost two home games in front of crowds slightly larger than the UW student section.

Idk, but maybe we shouldn't jump to conclusions. WHO IS Auggie Sanchez?



Woof. But you know what? Actions speak louder than pictures. I bet Auggie is an integral member of the machine that is the South Florida football team. LET'S INVESTIGATE:



Nope. Perhaps when you grew up in Florida, and you're a redshirt freshman fullback, and there's not even any evidence that you've gotten on the field yet this year, and you've never played in a D1 college football game outside of your home stadium... you should keep your mouth shut on media day.

For the record, I am not oblivious to the fact that I am kinda running my mouth from the comfort of my keyboard. POINT STILL STANDS

PS - Auggie? Is that short for August? Agusto? No way Auggie's the birth name.



CHICAGO BADGERS: Who all thinks Will's should get a school bus to transport people to and from the Northwestern game in two weeks say YEAH

(They should.)

(I really like boozing on school buses. Is that weird?)

(School bus should be one word.)



WHO/WHERE/WHEN


TV: ESPNU DAMNIT
WEATHER: 78, MOSTLY SUNNY, BOTTLE IT UP AND SAVE IT FOR JANUARY


Thursday, September 18, 2014

Bowling Green & Mini-Mailbag

"WHOA HEY, why wasn't there a mailbag last week?"

VALID QUESTION. And since I don't embrace excuses, I'm going to work the solution. MINI MAILBAG before we get to Bowling Green. VAMOS


Marissa R:

How many spiders do you think there are in the world? 
Oh, fuck you. Do you REALLY want to know how many spiders there are in the world? Or do you just want to inject nightmare fuel into my brain by forcing me to google every inch of the interwebs? SPIDER PUN.

You know the first thing I learned?





I feel like Morpheus when Neo told him the prophecy was a lie. I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.

But I dug deeper. Deeper into the spiderhole. WORST HOLE EVER. According to some dude who loved spiders way too much back in 1973, there was an average of 130.8 spiders per square meter. Okay, now we're getting somewhere. There's also 148.94 million square kilometers of land on earth (we're ignoring the 70% of the earth covered in water since everyone knows that a spider in water is just an octopus). But wait, shouldn't we subtract out Antarctica and the North Pole since Penguins and Santa would never fuck with spiders? Oh, we can't do that because there are these alleged SEA SPIDER MONSTERS that live in those places.


I tried converting square meters to square kilometers, and that sucked. And then I tried going from 148.94 million square kilometers to square meters, and THAT sucked even more. Google's giving me numbers with an 'e' in it. Do you really think I remember how to use 'e's in numbers? I DO NOT.

CONCLUSION: At any given time, on any piece of land in this world, LOOK OUT THERE'S A SPIDER ON YOUR FOOT. THERE ARE ELEVENTY BILLION SPIDERS ON EARTH and 12 of them live in your apartment; I hope you can't sleep at night. You shouldn't eat after 8 PM, and that includes the 14 spiders you eat in your sleep every year.

PS - 'I don't get why people hate spiders; they eat other bugs!'

-The worst person in the conversation, every time



Danny G:
Situation: Your job gives you 1 year off work, with pay. The only stipulation is that you need to spend all 365 days living in Madison, WI. What do you do to take full advantage of this situation? I’m looking for where you choose to live, what your weekly agenda looks like, etc. FYI, you are the only one who gets this 1-year sabbatical, so you can’t just bring a bunch of your Chicago friends with you.
Let's get the obvious out of the way: I'm immediately getting season tickets to basketball, football, and hockey. Being in Madison for a year without my friends means I'm gonna need any and all forms of entertainment. Plus I could go to the football games early and try to give Stave advice on how to get rid of the shanks! 'QUIT THINKING ABOUT THE GIRL, JOEL. IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD'

As far as a living situation goes, I want to strike that balance of close to everything cool... but far enough away from students that I don't feel old as shit every day when I walk out my door. I wouldn't live down by the Capitol, since that's TOTES an old person move. And that's far as fuck away from Camp Randall. Maybe somewhere like Regent and Charter? That's in between the Kohl Center and Camp Randall, not on the main stretch of campus, and ROCKY'S. Rocky's proximity might trump everything else. That's clutch proximity.


The weekly agenda gets tough. I don't really have any friends when I start this sabbatical, so I think the first step is to join some clubs so I can meet some people in the 26-30 bucket. Is there like a beer drinking, sports watching, terrace sitting club? Adult Hoofers? Should I go to Epic and pretend to work there just to see where they all go? This is really the most important part: without some friends, shit would be boring. Don't get me wrong, AMAZING boring, but still boring. So that would be my top priority.


I can get cute and tell you that I would go to the arboretum or do other adulty nerdy things, but I'd probably just drink and eat my way into an early grave. A one year paid sabbatical in Madison is a DANGEROUS thing for a single guy with a big appetite.



RealSectionX:

Shirt tucked in or not?
I think the older you get, the more likely you are to tuck your shirt in. This is problematic, because the older you get, the fatter you get. And nothing makes you look fatter than tucking a shirt in. That's it. That's the #1 way to look fat. Forget all that nonsense about horizontal stripes. Unless you have a flat stomach (die), tucking in your shirt just screams out 'HEY LOOK AT MAH GUT'.

Obviously, you have to tuck your shirt in in SOME situations. These are mine:

  • Any shirt with dress pants, but NOT with khakis
  • Playing soccer or basketball, for the first 5 minutes until you realize you don't care because you're playing a sport
Wait I think those are literally the only times I ever tuck my shirt in. If it's a button down shirt with dress pants or during an organized sporting event. I never tuck my shirt into jeans. That's insane. I think if Obama came to my office on a day when I was wearing jeans and a button down, I would MAYBE think about tucking. But then Barack would know I was fat. CONUNDRUM.

SHOULD I have been tucking my polos in to my khakis all these years? Probably. But that shit's uncomfortable. It traps heat. It bunches. And you can't forget a belt and get away with it if you're a tucker. What happens that one random day you forget to wear a belt? You just go untucked? How do you explain that to people? Better to go untucked 365 days a year, so that on that fateful Tuesday in October that you leave your apartment beltless, NO ONE KNOWS.



Thursday, September 4, 2014

Western Illinois

I have absolutely no idea what's going on.

As I sat down to start writing this, Andersen called a press conference to address Joel Stave's status. Is he hurt? WAS he hurt? If he's not hurt, why isn't he playing? Is he shut down? The answers to all of these questions have varied. He was practicing leading up to the LSU game, so he couldn't have been hurt. But then reports came out saying that he WAS hurt, and that his shoulder was bothering him. But NOW we're being told that he's NOT injured, and he just has a wicked case of the shanks.

In other words, this was our quarterback in practice last week:


And this was our quarterback warming up before the LSU game:



I'll spare you a thousand words on the Tanner/Roy McEvoy connection. Allow me just to say that I'm depressed that I had to use TWO Tin Cup videos for such dire circumstances.

But this wasn't all just limited to Sunshine. I haven't even mentioned the MGIII debacle. His is similar to Stave's, just kind of in reverse: first he WAS hurt with a little hip flexor thing, then he WASN'T hurt and just had some kind of misunderstanding with the coaching staff, but now maybe he does have an itty bitty hip flexor thing? CHRIST. What in the fuck is actually going on in Madison?

I like Gary Andersen. He seems like a genuinely good guy. He seems like he really knows football - especially on the defensive side of the ball. He seems like he's a pretty good recruiter, and it even seems like players enjoying playing for him. But I no longer trust him. There's simply not any good reason to believe the words that come out of his mouth going forward. It's really not that damning of an indictment - coachspeak is a thing for a reason. Coaches have all sorts of motivation to be coy and play games of semantics. I understand that. And if he was doing it to protect his players, then I suppose it's rather admirable. I guess I just thought we had a straight shooter at the helm. That is no longer the case.

With that said, here's what I saw in the LSU shitshow:

THE GOOD
  • MGIII ain't afraid of SEC speed. Averaging almost 9 yards a carry is impressive against Southeast Oklahoma Tech A&M. Doing it against LSU? That's damn near incredible. The 63-yard scamper was a thing of beauty, but also a sign that perhaps he was a little dinged up. True, he didn't take the best angle, but I have a hard time believing a fully healthy MGIII gets caught from behind that easily. Minor quibble - when he was in the game, he was a force.
  • Reggie Love is making me look smart. I've whiffed on my breakout players for like 4 straight years, so you'll have to excuse me if I'm momentarily a little proud of myself for giving Love some... love here. That Jet Sweep was executed PERFECTLY.
  • That rebuilt front 7 actually looked pretty good while it was healthy. In fact, they looked REALLY good while healthy. LSU didn't really have much cooking on offense. They burned us deep on one play when our true freshman safety took a brutal angle, but otherwise LSU really didn't do a damn thing offensively on us... until the injuries happened. Zags and Herring went down, and THEN the Tigers started moving the ball with conviction. I remain optimistic on this defense.
  • Michael Caputo is a monster. He made every single tackle AND recovered a fumble. The defense still has some question marks, but he is not one of them. HUGE year coming.
  • #GAGLIANONE. I tried to tell you how much you were gonna love this kid. I have a feeling el gato is now officially out of el bago. Forget for a second the 51-yard field goal that he KILLCRUSHED. Let us enjoy:


#GOLAZO

Man. I can't get enough of that. What a marvelous individual.

In fact, let's see that again, in SLOW MOTION:


HIPS DON'T LIE


Thursday, August 28, 2014

#13 LSU

GAME WEEK GAME WEEK GAME WEEK

IT IS GAME WEEK.

I like game week. Game week means the days of 95% humidity are drawing to an end. Game week means oh my god why am I even trying to get cute with this; we have a fucking football game on Saturday. And it's not just ANY old football game. Wisconsin football season openers, last 10 years:

2004: UCF
2005: Bowling Green
2006: @ Bowling Green
2007: Washington State
2008: Akron
2009: Northern Illinois
2010: @ UNLV
2011: UNLV
2012: Northern Iowa
2013: UMass

Every year, we've eased into the season like an old man into a nice warm bath. But did that collection of weak games temper our excitement? Of course not. And if we got worked up over Bowling Green and Northern Iowa, well, you can probably guess how things are gonna go on Saturday when we take the field in Houston against an SEC powerhouse. I don't think I'm being hyperbolic when I say this will basically be a bowl game atmosphere wherever you're watching. Simple math:

Night game + season opener + elite SEC opponent + hot garbage schedule for the rest of the season = this is it, folks.

Don't even bother trying to pace yourself. If you're planning on saving up for some future gameday, you're going to regret it. The hype machine is working overtime and it is completely justified.

#BeatLSU




CHICAGO BADGERS: If you show up at Will's after 6 pm and get frustrated about a line, you have no one to blame but yourself. Settle in early, have some dinner, guzzle a few beers, play some games, live the high life. Literally nowhere else you should be or anything else you should be doing.

I STILL WANT YOUR REFERRALS: Is this your first time reading the BP? Have you just been lazy before and not emailed me with your friends' email addresses? I don't embrace excuses. Send 'em over.

LET'S go!




WHO/WHERE/WHEN



TV: ESPN
WEATHER: GULF MONSOONS BUT I THINK THEY HAVE A ROOF




THE DOWNLOW ON LOUISIANA STATE UNIVERSITY

MIKE THE TIGER LIVES BETTER THAN 99% OF LOUISIANA

From Wiki:
LSU Athletics is represented by its mascot, a live Bengal tiger named Mike the Tiger. LSU is only one of two institutions of higher education in the United States to have a live tiger as their mascot; the other is the University of Memphis. The tiger was named after Mike Chambers, LSU's athletic trainer in 1936, and was bought for $750 from the Little Rock Arkansas Zoo.
Important things first: $750 in 1936 is a little under $13,000 today. That still seems pretty cheap for a real tiger. Tigers should cost around a million dollars in my mind. If you're gonna buy some rare, verge-of-extinction jungle cat, you should need boatloads of money. Wisconsin should be able to get a clan of real live badgers for like $800 according to this logic. Maybe LSU just FLEECED the Little Rock Arkansas Zoo. For some reason, I do not have much faith in whoever was in charge of sales at the Little Rock Arkansas Zoo in 1936. I'm pretty sure humans were wrastling bears for entertainment in those days. Could probably buy a bear from the LRAZ for $50 and tickets to a silent picture.

Also, a quick google search reveals that there are not many animal sales positions in zoos these days. FOR SHAME


PS - 

In 2005, a new $3 million Mike the Tiger Habitat was created for Mike between Tiger Stadium and the Pete Maravich Assembly Center. Its amenities include lush plantings, a waterfall, a flowing stream that empties into a wading pond, and rocky plateaus. The habitat has, as a backdrop, an Italianate tower - acampanile - that creates a visual link to the Italianate architectural vernacular of LSU's campus.


I have questions:
  • Do jungle cats wade?
  • When Mike VI dies, will they change it to classical Greek architecture if Mike VII thinks the Italianate architectural vernacular is a little much?
  • Is everyone comfortable with nothing but some batting cage nets keeping a jungle cat from eating their faces?
  • That get-up really cost $3 million?
That last part doesn't make any sense to me. I can guarantee Mike would rather have this playpen for a meager TWO million bucks:



All you'd have to do is throw some netting around that thing and it would be tiger-proof. I'm guessing the Italianate tower costs $1.75 million itself. Mike's getting shafted and he doesn't even know it.


Thursday, August 21, 2014

2014 Season Preview

Well well WELL. NINE days until Wisconsin and LSU face off in Houston. 9 STUPID WASTING-MY-DAMN-TIME days until the Miller Lite flows and the cheese curds fry and the red bows are red bowing all up in our faces. If we can survive those 9 days that will all feel like Tuesdays, we'll be in store for one hell of a show. I've already decided that the LSU game is going to be AWESOME. We're not going to get blown out. We're not going to blow them out. Nope. It's going to be two pretty gosh darn good teams releasing an offseason eternity's worth of pent-up energy on each other like it's the goddamn Super Bowl.

It's hard to overhype that game. Look at our schedule after it: WOOF. We'll all still be excited on gamedays because that's what we do. But until we're contemplating going to Indy in December to watch us beat MSU, it's a parade of 'meh.' I refuse to get too upset over this, because in all honesty there was basically nothing we could do about it. They did the somewhat logical thing in dividing the divisions geographically. It's not our fault that the teams in the West are hot garbage outside of UW. Wasn't Nebraska a football powerhouse? What happened to them? Iowa? Pass. Northwestern? Probably not a GOOD sign when one of your best players gets suspended and then transfers within a month of the season.

I could ramble on here for days. This won't be the best Badger football team we've ever seen, but they'll be pretty good. And a pretty good team with an easy schedule can make a lot of noise. Just like in basketball, all you gotta do is make the tournament to have a shot. For the first time ever, the same logic applies in football.



CHICAGO BADGERS: In case you've been out of the country all year, there's a new Badger bar in town that looks pretty amazing. It's called Will's and it's actually not new but it IS pretty amazing. Looking forward to another great year at the best Wisconsin bar in the city. Feel free to come say 'hi' sometime and/or chug a beer.

I WANT YOUR REFERRALS: Some of you came through last week, but the vast majority did not. SHAME ON YOU, VAST MAJORITY. Don't hog the BP all to yourself. Shoot me some email addresses and spread the love.

DO YOU LIKE BASEBALL? Probably not since hating baseball is almost as cool as hating soccer. But if you DO like baseball, I highly recommend checking out THE DUGOUT, a podcast hosted by my freshman year roommate. At the very least, click on that link to see a pic of him wearing an old man golf hat. BOLD FASHION CHOICE

NO MORE PLUGS: LET'S go!



CELEBRITY DEATHS

Boy this section really got flipped upside down recently.
  • Robin Williams. I generally try not to get worked up over famous people dying because billions of people die every day. But sometimes you can't help but feel like a ton of bricks fell on your head when you hear about a famous person dying. Robin Williams falls in that category. The amount of times I've referenced Mrs. Doubtfire is astronomical. I REFUSE to change the channel when Good Will Hunting is on. Go to my house back in Milwaukee and you'll find VHS copies of Aladdin and Hook worn down to the bone. Have I fought off tears during Patch Adams? Of course I have. I'm a fucking human. Here, let's all laugh and watch one of his best bits:



  • Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Did anyone not like him? I'm still partial to his role in Almost Famous. I feel like that movie kinda floats around under the radar. That movie is amazing.
  • Bob Hoskins. AKA Eddie from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I don't remember the last time I watched that movie, but anyone who got that close to Jessica Rabbit is a hero in my books. Absolute smokeshow.
  • Gabriel García Márquez. If you took Spanish in high school, you should know all about Señor Márquez. Even though I could understand half of the stuff he was writing, I was always impressed with how awesome his name was. Having a cool name is such a sneaky thing to pull off. I want a cool name so badly.
  • Casey Kasem. How to know you've made it in life:


  • John Pinette. If you know who this is by name, you're insane. I had no clue until I pulled up this clip:


Can we just establish one fact? The enforcement of the Good Samaritan Law here is BULLSHIT. If someone's getting carjacked at GUNPOINT, you do not go over there and try to help. What, you're supposed to get between a maniac with a gun and some other person's car? That's insanity. Sure, maybe Jerry could've called the cops on his cell phone (can't believe he had a cell phone, what year is this). But that cop had to be 40 feet away while this was going down. If anything, they should be CITIZEN ARRESTING the cop for being so fucking clueless. You know in The Office when they print the watermark of a duck boning a goat? And Creed (quality assurance) finds out who was sick that day at the mill and ends up getting her fired instead of him? That's basically what this cop did. He failed his job, so then he found someone else to stick their head under the guillotine.

This is why no one likes police people. That and because they sometimes ride really scary horses.


PS - Pinette is the fat guy getting carjacked, not the cop.