As a fellow Badger fan, and a recent fan of your blog... I have a question:I do!
Do you actually like Chicago?
Allow me to explain. I grew up in Madison (,Wisconsin) and spent the formative years of my life in the 90's going to County Stadium for Brewers-Cubs games and hearing enormous roars when the 'Crew LOST. Damn. (Let it be known: the Brewers were terrible. To put it in perspective: Jeff Cirillo was once the only Brewer Allstar. Wow.) ANYWAY; I now, as an adult, still run into Chicago people wearing their Cubs hats to every social occasion (I saw one at a friend's wedding last year. I thought that Wisconsin is supposed to have the rednecks)Given that I've seen a guy BYOWC (bring your own White Castle) to a nice wedding here in Chicago, I'm not going to disagree with you right there.
and tolerate their "Miller Park? You mean Wrigley Field North," comments, and I retort: The Brewers have been to more World Series during five Presidents than the Cubs have through five major world conflicts (WWI, WW2, Vietnam, Cold War, Iraq2).Is this a Wisconsin person calling Chicagoans fat? What the-
Other reasons I hate Chicago:
People are unusually fat and rude.
Contrast this with Wisconsites who are fat and polite.Oh. Got it.
Ever hear of anyone complaining about how rude Packer fans are? No? What about Bears fans? I rest my case.Agreed, Bears fans are terrible people.
Everyone I know who is from Chicago is a total dick. Therefore: it's impossible to make friends from Chicago.Q.E.D.
Chicago is cold and miserable 11 out of 12 months of the year. Wait, is there a nice month in Chicago? September maybe?Someone from Wisconsin complaining about the weather in Chicago hurts my brain.
More about Illinois in general, but: TOLLBOOTHS! And their highways aren't that spectacular. I honestly expect - for, what, $1.75 every 10 miles? - perfectly square highways and diamond-crested shoulders.WTF is a 'square' highway?
I was once in Chicago attending a Sonic Youth concert. I was in the front row at Union Park. SY was playing Daydream Nation front to back and people were FREAKING OUT. The fence got knocked down 3 times, people were getting crushed, everyone was soaked in a sticky ensemble of beer, sweat and marijuana crumbs.MMMMMMMM MARIJUANA CRUMBS
It was awesome. And then some fucking douchebag in the front row had the audacity to turn around and (rudely - because Chicagoans know no other way) punch square in the nose a girl half his size because she wouldn't stop "bumping into him".Vis-à-vis, all Chicagoans beat women. And they don't beat them nicely. They beat them RUDELY.
-WTF #1: you don't hit girls. You hit their boyfriends. Everyone knows this.LOGIC
-WTF #2: Why are you complaining about a hot, sweaty little blonde girl with a huge rack grinding on you at a concert? Just sayin', bro.But what if she had MARIJUANA CRUMBS all over herself?
Reasons I love Chicago:Only in September.
Outside of New York or Portland/Seattle, Chicago has the best music scene in the union. Can't deny that.
It's a beautiful looking city. And not just because it's on a major geographic landmark and has some wonderful lakefront parks, but also because it's a classically good looking city in general. Riding the L through downtown Chicago is truly an awesome experience, one that I'm glad I only experience once in a while.
As an aside, I currently live in Denver, Colorado - a beautiful city because it has the Rocky Mountain Range. If Denver didn't have mountains as a backdrop, it would be Albuquerque, New Mexico.Denver is cool because it has mountains, Alburquerque would be cool if it had mountains, and Chicago has fat, rude, redneck douchebags who punch women in the nose. Got it. Updating the Wikipedia pages as we speak.
Chicago has great food. And there is no where else in the world where you can get deep dish pizza. If you aren't in Chicago, don't even think about it.Word.
Enjoy your blog lots! Keep it coming. GO BADGERS!I'm being 100% serious and 0% sarcastic when I tell you that you're my new favorite reader. Hit me up next time you're in Chicago and we'll grab some pizza and punch some girls together. Call that a 'Tuesday' in the Chi.