at Purdue

At this point it's clear the Badgers and the Packers are in a race to see who can disappoint their fans more, and we are all losing in this competition. I don't know what else to say. There are some great individual players on both teams, but combined the teams themselves are just mediocre. Greatly frustrating in all directions.

So let's not dig any deeper. Instead, SANDWICH POWER RANKINGS:

1) French Dip. Warm, sliced prime rib on a perfect roll with a bucket of au jus for dipping. Sop that juice up. Dip the fries in there too. Go wild. This is what heaven looks like.

2) Pastrami & corned beef with swiss on toasted rye. The sandwich has to be hot. And if you get some pastrami and corned beef warmed up and working together, nothing is impossible.

3) Breakfast meat, egg, & cheese. It doesn't even matter what bread you go with (bagel, croissant, MCGRIDDLE PATTIES). Nor does it REALLY matter which meat you use (anything from bacon to sausage to chorizo plays just fine). All that matters is that the yolk is runny, there's good hot sauce available, and you have additional breakfast meat and taters on the side to sop up all the overflow yolk.

4) Hot chicken with pickles and some slaw. The Hot Chicken Revolution has been welcomed with open arms. All bout that life. Biscuit or brioche. Hot as possible. I want that chicken coated in whatever the hell is in that dark spice rub that you can tell is really freaking hot because it's in the seasoning more than in the sauce. Roost, you complete me.

5) Bahn mi. Spicy peppers, sweetness in the marinated meat, perfect crusty bread and the right amount of crunchiness from the rest of the veggies. Can I dunk a bahn mi in some au jus and call it VIETNAMESE AMERICAN FUSION? I have a theory that all of the best fusion restaurants use an Asian cuisine as one of the molecules.

JUST MISSED: Tortas, Italian beef, buffalo chicken with ranch, chicken parm

Now please roast me alive about the obvious mistakes I've made and how deeply offended you are by my fickle sandwich preferences.

PPS - no a hot dog is not a sandwich, and including burgers here felt weird. Burgers are their own category of food.

PPPS - never been a big grilled cheese fan. In my eyes it's the Beatles of the sandwich world: I understand everyone loves it and looks at it like it's the best thing ever, but I don't dig it myself. 

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WHO/WHERE/WHEN

TV: BTN
WEATHER: CHILLY, RAINY, COULDN'T PAY ME ENOUGH MONEY TO SIT IN THE STAND AT THIS ONE

at #20 Penn State

Voting and family obligations kept me away from a TV on Saturday, and it looked like I didn't miss much. That's fine. Well, Hornibrook getting another concussion is certainly awful, but I don't think it matters who plays quarterback this year. This team simply isn't very good, and they're going to have to scrap and claw their way to a solid bowl game to salvage this season.

The edge is off, though. The shine is gone. Time to take Badger gamedays for what they are at their core: perfect opportunities to day drink with friends and live your best life. That's what I plan on doing the rest of the season. Join me.

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WHO/WHERE/WHEN

TV: ABC
WEATHER: 30s AND SOME SUN, ALSO THE SUN SETS AT 4:30 AND LIFE IS COLD AND SAD

Rutgers

Hey you! Possibly random person on the internet that I've never met that's reading this! Hear me out for a second as we take a week off from reeling in the Coan Hypemobile and wondering if we beat Northwestern with a healthy Hornibrook. There's something else we need to talk about this week: voting.

That's right - I'm getting RISQUÉ POLITICAL on this here pseudo-sports blog thingy. But I'm not going to pick a side or tell you who to vote for (OR AM I no I'm not). I just want to use this pathetic excuse for a platform to remind, encourage, and implore you to get out and vote in these elections.

Why? Well, it's downright insane how low voter turnouts are in this country. I don't understand it. Is it laziness? Ignorance? The foolish mindset that 'well my vote is just one of a billion, it doesn't matter'? Probably a combination of all of the above. And I used to be one of those 'my vote doesn't count' fools! This is me acknowledging that I once was dumb and lazy when it came to voting! But as our Founding Fathers said: If I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!

So find your damn polling place (wanna vote early and don't know where to go? BANG you're welcome). Put time in your calendar so you don't have any excuses about finding the time. Annoy your friends into submission if they're not feeling patriotic. There are literally no excuses.

It's quick. It's important. It's one of the things that theoretically allows America to thrive as the land of the free, the home of the American Dream, and the best country in the world.

And those things mean something to me even in a time when America is more divided than it ever should be. They should mean something to you as well unless you're reading this from Thailand.

Find your polling location. Vote early if you can. Vote on Tuesday if you can't vote early.

Vote.

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WHO/WHERE/WHEN

TV: BTN
WEATHER: 40s AND BORING AF