Thursday, August 31, 2017

Utah State

Hello.

Did you enjoy your summer? Sweating every day? Getting sunburn just checking the mail? Not being able to wear anything from your arsenal of Patagonias? SUMMER SUCKS. There you go. I'll say it. It is, on a good day, the third best season:

1) Fall. Comfortable weather, football returns, Cubs on a 1 World Series winning streak, Halloween, quarter zips (the new thermals), I don't even drink them but I'm sure approximately 50% of you flip your shit over pumpkin spiced everythings, Halloween candy for sale for pennies on the dollar in November.

2) Spring. ESCAPE FROM THE LONG NIGHT, NCAA Tournament, quarter zips, Revolution A Little Crazy guzzling, those random days where it's like 75 and sunny in late March, St. Patrick's Day.

3) Summer. Air Conditioning, patio drinks for an hour before you'd rather be inside with the previously mentioned A/C, praying your Cubs seats are in the shade for the Saturday afternoon August game against the Pirates you got tickets for, waiting an hour for Jeni's ice cream even though Bobtail in Lakeview is better, Lollapalooza and everything that's terrible about it.

4) Winter. Freeze outside, sweat on public transportation, eating ice cream is somehow considered weird because it's so cold, salt gets stuck in my dog's paws and she does this sad little hop thing until I fish it out with my bare fingers even though it's 3 degrees outside, those random blocks on heavily trafficked streets that don't bother shoveling so all the snow gets packed down and walking on it feels like part of an American Ninja Warrior course, even Jon Snow is shedding any association with it.

So whatever. I'm a #SummerHater and I've come to terms with it. That's ok because it's basically Fall and I'm ready to FEAST on all the wonders Fall has in store for us. That starts Friday night in Madison.

PS - Couldn't be more #AllInOnHornDawg after finding out he's been eating 6,000 calories a day. GUNSLINGER STATUS CONFIRMED



WHO/WHERE/WHEN


TV: ESPN
WEATHER: 60, DRY, 100% CHANCE OF NIGHTRAGE