Michigan State

OFFICIAL HOMECOMING HASHTAG: #HateState

That's right. This weekend we're really digging deep into the hate bucket because I can't STAND Michigan State. Filthy school, ugly colors, terrible people, stupid city, worst state ever, Izzo... the list goes on and on. There's absolutely nothing redeeming about Michigan State University. And last year they jumped from a 7 to a 14 on the We Need To Burn This School To The Ground Scale with that Hail M*ry BS I had to witness in person. I've seen Sweet 16 losses in person. I've seen Rose Bowl losses in person. I've seen Cubs playoff game losses in person. None of those even compared to that game in East Lansing a year ago.

The worst part? Beating them in the B1G Championship somehow didn't even come close to healing those wounds. Sure, I had fun celebrating that night, and getting another trip to Pasadena in January is always nice. But that was our fucking shot. We win that game, and there's simply no way we come out like we did against OSU (CHEATING WASTELAND) the following week. What if we're undefeated heading into Indy? Holy shit, I get a little lightheaded just thinking about it. Why am I even doing this to myself?

I'm not sure Bielema can play the 'revenge' card considering we beat them to win the B1G, but you gotta think the guys who traveled to East Lansing a year ago are still bitter - especially the defense. I hope so. I hope they come out pissed off and beat the crap out of the Spartans.

Two words. One tag.

#HATESTATE

[Felt really good to get that all out.]

CHICAGO BADGERS: What's the deal, are we supposed to wear our Halloween costumes to Will's? Usually when Halloween weekend rolls around, I'm all about putting my costume on Friday night and not taking it off until Sunday. But that's a lot easier when you're a filthy lemur like I was a few years ago. This year, my costume requires far too much effort to rock for 48 straight hours. So F it. I'm wearing Badger gear Saturday to Will's. And I SWEAR I'm gonna win the raffle this time. I really feel it in my bones. DOG LEASH. RAFFLE WINNER. LOCK. IT. UP.

WHO/WHERE/WHEN

TV: ABC

WEATHER: 40'S, PARTLY CLOUDY, PARTLY SUNNY, PARTLY DRUNK

Minnesota

Damn you, Bielema. Just when I was ready to write this team off and start looking forward to hoops season, you have to go and turn me into a BELIEVER again. What did you do to make Monteé Ball look like Montee Ball? How did you get the offensive line to turn into 5 Joe Thomas clones? Why is Jared Abbrederis the best receiver in UW history? When is Joel Stave getting his Big Ten Freshman of the Year award? Where is this up and down season taking us?

I can answer that last one! ONE WAY TRAIN TO INDY. Not a single shred of doubt in my mind. The two teams ahead of Wisconsin in Our Division With The Shittier Name are ineligible for Indy, and the three teams after Wisconsin are a combined 0-8 in B1G play. What does that creeper say in Hunger Games? May the odds be ever in your favor? Could the odds possibly be any MORE ever in our favor right now? Did I REALLY just make a Hunger Games reference? Ugh.

PS - OK, so yeah, I'm thinking ahead a little: After we beat Michigan in the B1G Championship Game, am I supposed to go to Pasadena for the third straight year? Totally and completely split on this:

REASONS TO GO

• Making New Years plans is arguably the least fun thing in the world, and it will be -15 degrees in Chicago.
• The Rose Bowl is actually one of the most amazing venues I've ever been to.
• Despite two painful defeats, I still had a lot of fun in LA the last two Januaries.
• USC, Stanford... they don't really scare me.
• In-N-Out.

REASONS NOT TO GO

• I think I'm cursed and we're almost for sure gonna lose when I go.
• If it's Oregon, I'm staying the fuck away. Not going down that road again.
• There have to be better ways to spend all that money, like this, which I really, really wish I had for Halloween.
• I secretly hate LA.

Tough call. Maybe I should just let the season play out before worrying about this decision. Sounds much smarter.

PPS - Might be worth going for the In-N-Out alone:

OM NOM ANIMAL STYLE NOM

CHICAGO BADGERS: You are on your own this week. Good luck.

WHO/WHERE/WHEN

TV: ESPNU, COMPLETE AND TOTAL LACK OF RESPECT

WEATHER: LOW 50'S, PARTLY CLOUDY, DOESN'T THAT TECHNICALLY MEAN IT'S PARTLY SUNNY? WEATHER.COM IS SUCH A GLASS-HALF-EMPTY KIND OF OPERATION.

@ Purdue

[Check out the BP Blog for ULTIMATE READABILITY]

I'm doing you all a favor this week. Months ago, I was fully set on heading to West Lafayette to go to this game. I've never been to Purdue, and based on the division race, this game could have been pretty damn important. But then we kinda started sucking at football, and I realized that we seem to lose pretty much every single road game I go to. So no road trip for me this weekend. No business trip to the game and right back. I'm staying put in Chicago and not chancing it, because this IS a big game. Any chance of somehow kinda-maybe-sorta 'winning' this division hinges on winning this week against the Boilermakers. I refuse to be the one who fucks that up.

(Am I allowed to claim that I'm not superstitious if I really believe in stuff like this? DISCLAIMERS: I'm all about not moving from my seat/spot if we're doing well. If I turn the game off and we make a run I don't turn it back on. I stopped watching hoops games last year when we started winning and didn't resume watching them until we lost. All of this is perfectly normal, right? I feel like I'm not doing anything out of the ordinary here. The way I look at it, either these things ACTUALLY MATTER and I'm just doing my part, or they don't but WHY RISK IT?)

CHICAGO BADGERS: I just got an email about this awesome bar called Will's. It's supposed to be a pretty legit Badger bar with giant beers and cheese curds forever and a halftime raffle that I'm definitely totally winning this week. I think we should check it out. Might be good times.

WHO/WHERE/WHEN

TV: BTN

WEATHER: 60'S, MAYBE RAIN, MAYBE NOT, MAYBE FUCK YOURSELF

Illinois

I'm a little offended at how possible it still is for UW to make the B1G Championship game. This team has been nothing short of HORRENDOUS all year, and yet, as we enter October, a trip to Indy really wouldn't be all that surprising. True - that loss to Nebraska really sucked given how perfect of a start we got off to. But they're not in our division. And that's why these next few weeks are so important. Illinois has looked absolutely terrible this year, and with the game being played at Camp Randall, you can officially dub this one a MUST WIN SITUATION*. I'll promise you right now that if we lose this week, there's no way this team finishes over .500. It's just not possible. Wait, have I mentioned how bad Illinois is? They gave up 52 points... at home... to Louisiana Tech! Things didn't get any better last week when Penn State rolled into Champaign and completely handled the Illini. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if a B1G team comes into Madison as a two touchdown underdog given how abysmal the season has gone so far for Wisconsin, then you know they're really fucking bad.

*Calling a game a 'must-win' is among the dumber things in life that I fully endorse. I can't even begin to tell you how many must-win games my teams have lost and still recovered from.

CHICAGO BADGERS: Good luck this weekend.

WHO/WHERE/WHEN

TV: ABC OR ESPN2, WHO KNOWS, WHO CARES

WEATHER: HOPEFULLY A HURRICANE TO PUT US ALL OUT OF OUR MISERY (JK, 40'S AND SUNNY, SPLENDID)