Northwestern

You're looking LIVE at Scott Bell's mentions:

I hold no actual ill will towards Scotty B. Let's make that as obvious as it needs to be. He's just a Michigan dork tossing out fart projections into the Twitter wind. No way he actually expected a mini viral moment of shame with this projection de la basura.

And it was a TRASH evaluation. Wisconsin dominated Michigan in literally every facet of the game of football. Harbaugh had NOTHING to say while Chryst was converting fourth downs in his eyes. Taylor would've rushed for 350 if he didn't get cramps. Coan was slinging fourth down dimes just to show off. You name it, and Wisconsin crushed it. Glorious Saturday, and we've officially entered 'hmmmmmmm what do we have here?' mode going forward.

It's all on the table, and next up is a date with the nerdery. Given how inept Northwestern has been, I'm officially putting Wisconsin on HIGH NERD ALERT for the weekend. No looking past. We are down to our 4th and 5th string safeties for the first half against a team that has had no problems pulling shenanigans out of their butts to annoy us in the past.

Let's go get 'em.

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WHO/WHERE/WHEN

TV: ABC

WEATHER: LITTLE BIT A SUN, LITTLE BIT A CLOUD, 60

#11 Michigan

OOOOOO we got a big one this weekend. A double top-15 matchup against an annoying conference opponent at Camp Randall in September? Unheard of. Preposterous. Incredulous.

Unfortunately - and I hate to do this - there's some bad news: we're going to lose. That's not my prediction, that's not what Vegas thinks, and that's not an opinion. It's a fact:

There it is. SCIENCE. Michigan clearly has the edge at every position, therefore the game is over and we lose. Go for a bike ride Saturday morning. Check out a farmer's market. There's no point in watching since Scott Bell has SPOILED the results of the yet-to-be-played game and shown us clearly, scientifically, and objectively that Michigan is better at football.

I'm just as saddened by this news as you are. Good thing the B1G West title is still up for grabs. We'll have to find another opportunity for that signature win.

PS - Scott Bell can eat a butt

PPS - Let's STOMP these clownhonkeys

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WHO/WHERE/WHEN

TV: FOX

WEATHER: SCATTERED STORMS, LOW 70'S, JTT WEATHER

Central Michigan

Not much else you can ask for. I mean, sure, Coan could've hit those bombs to Q. Nelson could've been out of the game when it was blowout city. Taylor could've had 300 more rushing yards to really feed the Heisman campaign.

But a 49-0 win on the road against an actual opponent is a damn near perfect season opener. Summer is hanging around to its final breath, football is fully upon us, and Camp Randall is ready to shake off the rust.

Let's all enjoy the calm before the storm. Go outside and drink a beer with your friends.

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WHO/WHERE/WHEN

TV: BTN

WEATHER: LOW 70's WITH ONLY A MINOR CHANCE OF SUNBURN