Thursday, August 27, 2015

2015 Season Preview

I've unscientifically deduced that August is the fastest month in the world. It's already August 27th? How is that possible? Even Father Sky and Mother Earth are confused and are tossing us sexy fall weather this week. And that weather is the most pleasant reminder around that Wisconsin and Alabama will be playing a football game right soon. GLORY.

You really couldn't ask for a better game to start the Paul Chryst era (other than this game being in a real college stadium in front of real college fans). And it's an era I'm oddly optimistic on. Was he a sexy hire? Nah. Is he going to KILLCRUSH the recruiting scene? Probably not. But he's going to lead juggernaut offenses. reestablish the relationships with the Wisconsin high school coaches that GA damaged, and let Aranda run a dirty defense. That's a recipe that can cook up some playoff appearances in the future.

Cautious optimism. Feel it in your bones.

STILL LOOKING FOR REFERRALS: Hit me back with email addresses and I'll add your friends/sisters/cousins/fraternity bros/grandparents to the list. Gracias.


Before we look to da future, we must pay respects to those that have left us. Rest in peace, celebrities ranging from obscure to legendary.
  • Rowdy Roddy Piper & Dusty Rhodes, WWE Legends. It's no secret that pro wrastlers live hard and they live fast. And yet, it still hits like a sack of bricks when you hear the news that hall of famers like Rowdy Roddy and Dusty Rhodes have passed away.
  • Jerry Weintraub, Producer of Ocean's 11. Seriously, Ocean's 11 is sneakily one of my favorite movies ever. And I'm not talking about the original old people version - I'm talking about George Clooney and Brad Pitt and Matt Damon being awesome at thievery. Any guy who had a hand in making that movie is a total bro in my eyes.
  • Uggie, Dog. Color me surprised to see a dog show up in my intense, thorough research for celebrity deaths. But lookit the little guy!

Here's Uggie with his memoir. Uggie has a memoir. I am less accomplished than I ever nightmared about.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

2015 Preseason Mailbag!

Thanks for the questions. Let's get on with it.


Jeff A:
How "dead" is Jon Snow? Is Jamie Lannister eventually going to kill his sister Cersei? Is Tyrion Lannister really a Targaryen? Why is it taking George R.R. Martin so long to finish writing a measly 1500 pages? What is with people having 2 middle names?
I want to make a rule that EVERY mailbag is required to have at least one Game of Thrones question. With that said, if you are behind on the show then HELLO SPOILER CITY and stop what you're doing go finish it.
  • There's no way Jon Snow is done. He may be dead, but he will be back. Will Red Devil Lady resurrect him like she saw Beric Dondarrion resurrected way back when? Will he become the NEW Night's King? Will Bran make his miraculous return by warging Snow back to life? Will Ghost perform CPR with his paws THAT WOULD BE ADORABLE. The possibilities are endless. But I am basically 1,000% sure he's coming back in one way or another. After all the not-so-subtle hintdrops about his lineage (I'm on board with the theory that his parents are Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen), there's simply no way he just poofs out of the show like that.
  • Jamie killing Cersei would be insane. That's like Red Wedding level insanity. I feel like it's completely overshadowed how crazy the Jamie/Cersei relationship is about to be. She sent Jamie off to Dorne to get Myrcella, and under his watch she got poisoned. Cersei is going to lose her shit and I can't wait to see it. Does Jamie go to war over it? Can Bronn be king soon? Sitting here like a LOST nerd full of questions.
  • Is Tyrion a Targaryen? Is that a theory? I DO like the sound of Tyrion Targaryen. I think if he rides a dragon to save Dany then we'll know that theory has legs and/or wings. I demand more dragon-riding.
  • Martin is sneakily one of the weirdest creatures on the planet. Since I'm not a book reader I actually don't care if he ever finishes. He told the showrunners how it ends, and at this point I'm fully confident they'll take us home in style.
Ugh, so many sleeps until GoT is back. DAMNIT

1225 Mound St
White or red pants on the road?
I'm a fan of the all whites on the road. But now that it's looking like Under Armor will replace Adidas, I'm hoping to see some change. Our uniforms are BORING. In all sports. It sucks because the Motion W is bad to da bone. Bucky is a kickass mascot. And Cardinal is a great color. Now is the time for us to mix it up and drop some hot unis on the world.

I liked the start in recent years with all the new helmets. I'm also totally okay with them using some black in the uniforms. Black isn't any team's color - black is ALL of our colors.

At the end of the day, recruits dig this shit. And I don't really care that much. So if messing with the uniforms results in one good recruit picking UW over OSU and MSU, then it was totally worth it.