Thursday, May 1, 2014

Season Finale Mailbag!

Here we go. Last BP of the season. 5,000+ words of mailbag for you to read while pretending to work on Friday.

LET'S go!

Ryan M:
My question is this: What is your stance on the music genres of K-pop/J-pop? Love it/hate it? Do you think some groups are borderline child labor? If you watch a few music videos do you have to google the group to find out if you're looking at 12 year olds or 38 year olds? Here's a music video by 'BABYMETAL' for you watch and listen to while pondering my questions:

OH MY GOD. Is this real? Why did I just look down and see my foot feverishly tapping along to the double bass pedal? Why does Japan OWN YouTube? Was that J-POP?

I had no idea. So I hopped on over to to check the charts. Here's your #1 J-Pop hit:

YES, YES, [mouthing Japanese gibberish], YES, YES

It's REALLY bad that this is the catchiest song I've heard in a month. It's DOUBLY BAD that I immediately checked TouchTunes to see if I could start buying this on jukeboxes at bars (no go). I watched the entire 6+ minutes of this video and I'm dumbfounded that there are Gaijin in it. Is J-Pop just Japanese boy bands? INTRIGUED

And #1 on the K-Pop charts?

Apparently these two won K-Pop Star, which is Korean for American Idol. And this song isn't half-terrible. Are they both 14 years old? PROBABLY. But I think that's okay. As long as they're not trying to swindle gold medals at the Olympics with phony birth certificates, I don't really care how old they are.

PS - Am I really old for not knowing about K-Pop/J-Pop? Is this like when I told my parents that Weezer was my favorite band and they asked me what the fuck a Weezer was? Ughhhhhhhh

Sid K:
They put a Wendy's where the T-Bell/KFC used to be on State St. is this a good decision? Is there a better restaurant that should go in that spot? 
Rarely is Wendy's opening up a bad thing. But I'm very confused about the entire situation. Here are the facts:
  • I find it impossible to believe that the Taco Bell/KFC was not raking in mad money.
  • The rent at that spot is probably ludicrous.
  • I wish there was some pico in CGC's.
Once I heard that the TB/KFC was closing, my initial hunch was that the city basically forced them out. Liberal propaganda, they don't like national chains, ESPECIALLY fast food national chains, etc. But Wendy's taking over that property really throws my theory for a loop. How could a TB/KFC fail on a college campus with thousands of dope-pokin', Natty-drinkin' kids craving exactly that kind of food all the time? And how could a Wendy's be so significantly better and succeed where TB/KFC failed? Why isn't there a joint Badger Herald/Daily Cardinal/Badger Preview INVESTIGATION to get to the bottom of what is now Madison's single greatest mystery?

I lay awake at night pondering the answers to these very questions.

PS - Madison's previous greatest mystery was why the Rathskeller ELIMINATED the chicken tender basket. All of Madison's greatest mysteries revolve around the disappearance of delicious food.

PPS - If they HAD to replace the TB/KFC, I'd vote for an additional Jimmy John's strictly so I could go there and buy 15 sandwiches and then go in the bathroom and stuff up their toilets by flushing the sandwiches. That would be enjoyable for me. Stuffing Jimmy John's down their own toilets and watching with questionable joy as their bathroom flooded with tepid water and sandwich mediocrity.

PPPS - I barely know what 'tepid' means so just roll with it.

4xPS - For real, just open a Devil Dawgs franchise in that location and let the good times roll. That's my for realsies suggestion. I'd march into the Devil Dawgs on Sheffield and DEMAND an audience with the CFD (Chief Financial Dawg) and tell him that I wasn't asking for a Devil Dawgs franchise - I was DEMANDING  a Devil Dawgs franchise. This idea would succeed where my Buff Joe's Madison franchise idea failed.


Mark S:

What is the best rendition/remix of the Game of Thrones theme song on the internet, other than the plain vanilla awesomeness that is the actual theme song? I've seen goats and dogs, both excellent, but I think there is untapped veins of excellence out there.
This is my current favorite:

I like it because there's just enough effort put into it that you think they were serious, but it's so stripped down that it becomes funny. Let's be honest, they must have spent HOURS AND HOURS making this. And yet, I want to laugh when I watch it. That's good stuff. The music really sells me. Stirring rendition.

As far as just the song goes, I love this one:

You can tell right away that they're all extremely talented musicians. All of them except for this guy, of course:

You know how the argument about paying college athletes always comes down to whether or not the benchwarmers on Arkansas Pine-Bluff should make as much as the starters on Kentucky? That's basically the question here. Does the guy banging on the bongos like a 12-year-old get a full cut of their performance fees? The other 3 have dedicated their lives to the cello (those are cellos, right?), and Steve there was banging away in a park with 9 other spirit drummers 2 weeks and 1 haircut ago.

Lastly, UW needs to make one of these IMMEDIATELY:

The little frisbees flying out of the Frisbee Fortress? GENIUS. That video is remarkably well done. And I say that full-on HATING when other schools do something cooler than Wisconsin.

Raffi C:

That loss last Saturday was devastating. Absolutely devastating.Come to think of it, the state of Wisconsin has had A LOT of devastating losses recently. The Fail Mary and the Wisconsin Arizona debacle, Hail Mary vs MSU, Hail Mary vs OSU the week afterwards, Micah Hyde dropping the game winning interception vs 49ers in the playoffs, among countless others. How do you rank Wisconsin/GB's most painful losses in your lifetime, and how does Wisconsin compare to the rest of the nation in terms of worst losses over the past couple years?
Well here's a simple fact: the more recent the loss, the more devastating it is. The pain from losses 5, 10 years ago fades eventually. They may still sting, but both the Badgers and the Packers have had enough success lately that coping has been easier. With that said, top 5 most devastating losses:

1) Wisconsin/Kentucky, Final Four. Knowing that you were one 26 footer away from being in the national championship game is something so crazy that I never even fully processed that possibility. This wasn't some fluke run against all odds: the Badgers BELONGED there. And motherfucker, they should've been playing UConn on Monday. UGH

2) Wisconsin/Michigan State, Hail Mary. As you may recall, I went on a little business trip to East Lansing for that game. Snagged great seats for real cheap, it was a beautiful night... things were looking up. And then we shit the bed at the end of the first half, roared back to tie it in the 4th, and watched as they completed a bullshit Hail Mary to beat us on the last play of the game. I STILL don't think it was indisputable. But you wanna know what was indisputable? If that game went to overtime, we were gonna win. If we won that game, we were gonna beat OSU the next week. If we beat OSU the next week, we were gonna run the table and play for a fucking NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP.

Don't get me wrong - I want the hoops title more than anything. But any team can catch fire in the tournament and make a run. In football, you pretty much had to be PERFECT to get that title. And once that bullshit Hail Mary happened, the perfection was gone. The dream was gone. To be honest, this probably should be #1. UGHHHHHHH

3) Packers/Eagles, 4th and 26. And that's all I have to say about that.

4) Packers/49ers, The Catch II. I didn't even KNOW it was called 'The Catch II'. This OFFENDS me. Wanna know what else really bothers me? Watching highlights of this game - which I can remember watching live - feels like watching archival footage from the world's first football broadcast:


5) Wisconsin/ASU, Pac-12 Refs Debacle. When's the last time you went back and watched this shit?

This may not have been as important of a game as some others, but it gets points for being the first loss of the season (CHAMPIONSHIP DREAMS DASHED) and being the result of the worst officiating I've ever seen at any level. EVER. I'll never understand how they could screw Wisconsin that badly and just be like 'oh, our bad!' the next week. Fuck the Pac-12. Fuck the king.

Honorable Mention: Wisconsin/Ohio State, Hail Mary Part Deux. The MSU Hail Mary the week before crippled the championship dreams, so this one wasn't quite as devastating. It was also Halloween weekend, and we were in the middle of a multi-day Halloween party that almost cost me my job and my LIFE. Halloween parties are by FAR my favorite holiday parties to throw. Maybe it's because I'm big on theme parties, and Halloween is a theme EVERYONE must adhere to. No costume, NO PARTY.

Sam R:
Though Chicago had a short-lived Ian's pizza run (at least it was there when I lived there), Ian's Pizza is now making its out of Wisconsin new debut in Denver!  Woo hoo!!  But, with Colorado being in the top 5 of fittest states in the country fairly regularly, will Macaroni and Cheese pizza hinder our skinny state from making this list again? (really - I just wanted to brag that Ian's was coming to Denver... do you think more people will come visit now?)
Well, Ian's may be dead in Chicago, but Dimo's continues the tradition of fantastic pizza and elite ranch (the Wicker Park location is bigger, has good beer, and trades in frat bros for hipsters, win/win/win). I was getting ready to tell you that you already had an Ian's disciple in your hood, but then I googled Boulder and learned that it was not the same thing as Denver. This is actually news to me. I thought it was like Urbana-Champaign.

But you do raise a good point - Denver-Boulder is supremely health-conscious, so perhaps there isn't room for two pizza joints that tell you if you're looking for calorie counts, you're in the wrong place. FLIP SIDE is that most of those health nuts still like to poke all that sweet, sweet legal Colorado dope. I don't care how many miles you biked and how many streams you swam, smoke enough street-legal weed and the BBQ Chicken Bacon Ranch will grow a mouth and start talking you, telling you to just fucking eat it and climb 3 extra mountains tomorrow to make up for it.

However, you don't need an Ian's Pizza to make ME want to visit. Ever since the owner of Zanzibar called Chef Brian Duffy 'fat boy' on Bar Rescue, I've been ITCHING to get over there and give him a piece of my mind. But he's an Israeli war veteran who could definitely kick my ass. So I'd probably just blackout, get up on a pool table, pee all over it, and yell 'FOR TAFFFFFFERRRRRRRRRRRR!' before getting violently ejected from the bar. Then I'd go to Ian's to eat my feelings. Denver sounds FUN.

Jeff W:

What are your top 5 hockey names?
TOP 8:

1) Justin Abdelkader

2) Rob Klinkhammer

3) Cal Clutterbuck

4) Nino Niederreiter

5) Jay Bouwmeester

6) Max Pacioretty

7) Andrew Desjardins

8) Vincent Lecavalier

Those are SUCH hockey names and I love every single one of them.

Louie M:

I am 100% addicted to 2048 after you introduced me to it in your email last week. I have yet to achieve the elusive 2048, but I can get to 1024 pretty consistently. My top score is 15944. 

Have you gotten 2048? Do you have a strategy? I try to only swipe down and right. If I get stuck, I swipe left, but I never NEVER swipe up. If I ever do, I'm guaranteed to get that stupid 2 right under the 1024 and that's the death sentence. Also, it seems like whenever I'm counting on a 2 to appear, a 4 that I'd wanted the swipe prior shows up. WTF is when the random 4s?
To be honest, I'm still enjoying the game. Which is REMARKABLE given that no iPhone game has ever held my attention for more than 2 weeks. As far as strategy goes, you're spot on: put your biggest number in the bottom corner and NEVER swipe up. The second you swipe up, your strategy changes from building long chains along the bottom two rows to HOW THE FUCK DO I GET THAT 2 OUT OF THE BOTTOM ROW. That strategy is not fun.

I'm a little worried, however, that I've hit my peak:

We're talking HUGE Tiger Woods fist pump for that one. I started the game when I left work, continued it on the train, popped up to my balcony to see if the sunset was gonna get all #skypornographic, and kept going until I lost. My fingers were completely numb, but making those two 2048's bone each other's brains out until they made a 4096 was IMMENSELY satisfying. I felt like king of the 2048 world.

True story, the next morning I saw a girl on the train playing. She was MISERABLE. Every other swipe was up. Her high score was like 3000. So I did the boldest thing I could do, and I basically made her take off her headphones so I could tell her she should NEVER swipe up. I guaranteed her a 1024 every round if she followed my advice. The people behind me got a laugh out of it, and I'll probably never see her again. Wherever you are, terrible 2048 girl, I hope you've reached that promised land. And if you beat my score, fuck you.

PS - You're right about the random 4's. They're programmed to show up about 10% of the time, but when you're expecting and NEEDING a 2, they show up 150% of the time. The unexpected 4 is nothing short of EVIL.

PPS - Nothing pisses me off more than getting lazy and leaving the far left spot in the bottom row open by accident, swiping left, and having a 2 spawn in the bottom right. I don't care where I am, I will have a visible physical reaction. This is why I don't play 2048 in church. 

Ron S:

We are on this endless quest to find the best burger in a city but no one ever seems to want to find the best hot dog in a city. I love a great dog and would love to hear your thoughts about what you think makes a dog great and who has the best dogs and why.
First of all, a good cheeseburger beats a good hot dog every single time. That's not up for debate. If you're ever at someone's BBQ and they ask you 'burger or hot dog?' and you say 'hot dog', you might have a problem.

WITH THAT SAID, I'm kind of all over the place with hot dogs. Generally I prefer them charred up on the grill since that makes me feel like they're actually cooked. A bunch of pale lookin' dogs festering in a bucket of hot dog water is not what I'd consider appetizing. So a char-grilled dog (looking at you, Wiener Circle) will be my first preference. The only place I order a normal, non-charred hot dog is Superdawg. As far as normal hot dogs go, they're the gold standard. They're enormous and come with elite crinkle cut fries. Go there if you're in Chicago.

But here's where I go off the reservation: I like a bunch of random crap on my hot dogs. At Wrigley, I'm all about the TACO DOG:

Hot dog with ground beef, pico, cheese, lettuce, jalapenos and sour cream

If I'm out in Wicker Park, it's the Sonoran Dog at Big Star:

Bacon-wrapped hot dog in a bolillo bun with tomatoes, beans, and all sorts of sauces

And if I have a day off from work? It's straight to Hot Doug's:

The pink cubes are CHEESE

My point is that regular hot dogs are BORING. I get the allure of the Chicago-Style Hot Dog, especially for visitors. But it doesn't do much for me. I either want a crazy hot dog, or stick an Italian sausage in my face and watch me be happy.

IN SUMMARY: Go to Superdawg if you want the best NORMAL hot dog in Chicago, Hot Doug's if you want to experiment, or Big Star for bacon-wrapped Sonoran amazingness.


Jason H:

What effect do you think this season will have on recruiting?  I don't think you see and 'one and done' types coming to Madison any time soon, which is fine with me.  Give me more of the 4 year, 4 star types (Nigel, Bronson) to develop under Bo and we will compete for Final Fours every year.
Well it certainly can't hurt recruiting. Like you said, we're not gonna land the 1AD's of the world. Bo would certainly take them if they wanted to come to Wisconsin, but even if they're planning on bolting to the NBA after one year, they'll still be expected to go to class and get decent grades. Without knowing a single 1AD kid personally, I'm guessing most of them go through the motions academically, counting down the days until they get that first NBA paycheck. And I don't blame them: if there were a major I could've chosen that would let me leave UW after a year or two to make absolute BANK doing something awesome, I'd choose that 11 times out of 10. Anyone would. Getting an education is important; getting a lucrative career that you enjoy is the goal.

And since I'm the nerd that pays attention to recruiting, here are some names you need to know:

Ethan Happ, 6'9 forward from Taylor Ridge, IL
Why you should be excited: Gone (for now) are the days of recruiting 7' stiffs from Ashwaubanon, WI who can't move. Bo has put an emphasis on long, athletic bigs that can play multiple positions and stretch the floor. There's a reason the last classes have had more Dekkers, Nigels, and Browns than Markolfs and Andersons. Happ was completely under the radar because he's from Bumfuck, IL. He'll be a damn good player.

Diamond Stone, 6'10 center from Milwaukee, WI
Status: Probably not gonna happen
Why you should be excited: He's a top-5 national recruit playing high school basketball an hour east of Madison. He has offers from everyone in the world. He'd be an immediate replacement for Frank. With that said, I don't see it. Wisconsin doesn't do well recruiting Milwaukee, and Stone is most likely thinking 1AD. Better bet he goes to UNC or Marquette.

Josh Sharma, 6'10 center from Northfield, MA
Status: Looking good, but getting interesting
Why you should be excited: Again, they want a big to come in and replace Frank, and Sharma could do that pretty well. He's EXTREMELY athletic for a kid pushing 7', and I have to imagine that seeing Bo turn Frank from a three point shooter into a dominant offensive force makes him truly interested.

Henry Ellenson, 6'9 forward from Rice Lake, WI
Status: Got a good chance, but goddamnit Coach K stay out of Wisconsin
Why you should be excited: He's the most prototypical Wisconsin big man you could find, and he happens to live in Wisconsin. Can shoot it, post up, solid handle, solid passer, good size... all the things you want in that stretch-4. The big boys are starting to really turn up the heat on him, but I'm cautiously optimistic he'll be a Badger.

Jarvis Johnson, 6'0 point guard from Minneapolis, MN
Status: They want him real bad, and there's some mutual interest for sure
Why you should be excited: Bo is very selective with his point guards, mainly because they do a lot for his teams and he rides them real hard. If he doesn't think you can handle it, he won't put you out there with the rock. So to see Bo really get after a recruit like Jarvis makes me fully convinced that he'd be a stud here. Also, I love poaching good recruits from Minnesota. TASTE IT

The Final Four trip is fresh in these kids' minds as their decisions approach. My breakdown:

0/4: TOTAL bummer. Not the end of the world, but damn, how does that happen.
1/4: Good foundation to build around and can still make a great class with the solid Plan B's in Wisconsin.
2/4: Probably Bo's best class ever regardless of the rest.
3/4: Top 10 class in the nation.
4/4: I don't know but I want to find out.

Danny P:

Bar Rescue. Great show (will concede that you are the one that brought it to my attention) but sometimes it feels like Taffers talent and track record of having turned around, consulted for, or otherwise advised over 800 bars are being wasted on these morons. For a lot of these people, they just gave up and aren't putting in any effort. Then Jon comes in with his Diageo experts and throws tons of money and renovations their way. It can be entertaining but I'd like to see more episodes like the one they did in the Rockaways after Sandy. That was a great episodes and those people actually needed help. Plus it was still entertaining because those twin brothers were insane. (Wait was that the right episode or am I combining different ones?) 

Anyway - where do you stand on this issue?
It's really the essential question of the show: do these jackasses and failures even deserve the second chance Jon is giving them? When he shows up there and they keep fucking around, shouldn't he find someone out there who not only needs his help, but would eternally appreciate it? In reality, there's no reason to help these schmucks. But this is reality TV, and reality TV needs VILLAINS.

Sucks to say, but the show is simply more entertaining with those morons. The Real World would be a hell of a lot more real if they put 7 normal people into a house, but no one wants to watch normal OR real. People want drunken fights and pregnancy scares and partially-obscured shower sex. They want Bar Rescue episodes where the owners and managers and bartenders are all blackout drunk every night of the week. They want to see Taffer get ANGRY, and he won't get angry with helpless people begging for help. He'll get angry with failing idiots that are cool with cockroaches in their liquor bottles and owners who talk to Mrs. Taffer about her elbow-vagina.

I'm cool with that, too. Angry Taffer is a top 5 Taffer. TOP 5 TAFFERS:

1) Squinting Taffer

Sunglasses are for FAILURES

2) Post-Rescue Satisfaction Taffer 


3) Winking Taffer

"I'm not winking because I have grapefruit pulp in my eye. I'm winking because I BELIEVE in you"

4) Shut-It-Down Taffer

Jon and I are both really spooked by raw chicken.

5) Angry Taffer

"They say there's no crying in baseball, there's DEFINITELY no crying in the bar business!"

Honorable Mention: Cat Fight Neutralizer Taffer

Frozen towel to the back of the neck, cat fight KRYPTONITE

Peter M:
Heads or tails?
You know who calls heads? Psychos. Legitimate, documented psychopaths. That's it. If you EVER call heads, you're essentially telling the world that occasionally your brain acts out involuntarily and you should probably be medicated. Your favorite Ninja Turtle is probably Raphael (he's a dick and he just slaps people with his little forks) and you think pizza tastes better cold (these people should be locked up).

Danny G:
Rank your top-10 most evil fictional characters of all time
1) Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
POSITION OF POWER: Wealthy Industrialist
EVIL RESUME: Made a deal with LITERAL evil that would ensure the end of existence. I'm still not entirely sure what he had to gain by making this deal. I don't think they ever touched on that. But if he succeeded, day would turn to night. Light to dark. Life to death. That's about as evil as evil gets.
DID EVIL WIN: Well, Zorg never got the stones, he blew up, and died. So, no. Evil did not win. THIS GUY WON:


He's basically an #elefantepequeno from the future! Speaking of which, obligatory:


2) Agent Smith
EVIL RESUME: Spent its entire existence trying to kill Neo and eliminate the human race. Was just a huge dick in general. When he wasn't busy trying to kill Neo, he was eliminating other programs that were 'due for deletion'. So yeah, fuck this guy.
DID EVIL WIN: If by 'evil' you mean 'Neo', then yes, evil won. So no, evil did not win. SUCK IT, EVIL

3) Emperor Palpatine
FICTIONAL UNIVERSE: A galaxy far, far away...
EVIL RESUME: Built a weapon used to destroy planets. Started destroying planets. As in, shooting a green laser at a peaceful planet and blowing it the fuck up. And he was ready to just keep doing that over and over. The first three movies sucked so I barely remember them, but I'm pretty sure it was his nudging that led Anakin to killing all the Jedi younglings at the temple. Any time you're an accessory to Jedi children murder, you're pretty much a monster.
DID EVIL WIN: While he managed to blow up one planet, Vader came back and tossed his ass before he could fry Luke to death. REBELS 1, EMPEROR 0

4) King Edward I, AKA Eddie Longshanks
POSITION OF POWER: King of England
EVIL RESUME: Bribed Scottish nobles to suppress the Scottish Revolution,  threw his son's high counselor out the window to his death, probably ordered more murder of innocent people than you could count, and hated his son because he was gay. Oh yeah, and this:

DID EVIL WIN: He did end up killing Wallace... but the Scots rallied around that and won their freedom. After they fought like warrior poets. First you fight like warrior poets, THEN you get  your freedom.

5) Anthony Cooper
POSITION OF POWER: Locke's father
EVIL RESUME: Knocked up Locke's mom when she was 15, conned Sawyer's parents so hard that Sawyer's dad killed his wife and himself while Sawyer was right there under the bed, conned Locke into giving him a kidney, involved Locke in a fake-death con (such a cool type of con if we're being real) that led to Helen DENYING Locke's marriage proposal, threw Locke out of an 8th story window when Locke tried to stop him from conning someone else, resulting in Locke's paralysis.
DID EVIL WIN: Cooper got in a car accident and woke up on the Island, where Sawyer strangled him to death. Anthony Cooper was a DICK.

6) Brain Bug
EVIL RESUME: Telepathically controlled all the bugmonsters as they made their assault on Earth (#NeverForgetBuenosAires), ordered up murder like you order a beer, sucked the brains out of humans to absorb their memories/knowledge, screamed loud enough to burst blood vessels in human heads nearby, was fucking disgusting.

PS - That scene where he bones Diz was like THE hottest thing as a 12-year-old just discovering softcore porn. And then Wild Things came along and CRUSHED it with the lesbian pool make-out. OH TO BE YOUNG AGAIN

7) Colonel William Tavington
POSITION OF POWER: Colonel in the British Army
EVIL RESUME: Oh Tavington, you fucking dog you. Let's see: orders injured Americans shot, arrests Heath Ledger for looking too damn fine during the 1700's, kills Thomas, burns the Martin plantation down, burns down the houses of American militia members and kills their families, forced an entire town into their church, offered them freedom for information, and then locked them inside and BURNED the church after they told him what he wanted, and kills Heath Ledger.
DID EVIL WIN: I mean, he killed a LOT of people, but he got a hot bayonet through the neck and the Americans won the war. Verdict? U-S-A! U-S-A!

PS - I kind of love Tavington's 'no fucks given' attitude:

Cornwallace's 'Damn him, damn that man!' is one of my favorite things.

8) Joffrey 'Baratheon' Lannister
POSITION OF POWER: King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm
EVIL RESUME: Beheaded his fiancee's father after promising mercy, cut out the tongue of a singer trying to entertain him, forced one whore to bludgeon another whore to death in lieu of having a threesome with them, eventually killed the surviving whore with his crossbow, tried to make Ser Dontos drink himself to death, threatened to feed Ser Pounce to his little brother, humiliated his uncle about a thousand times, was a huge and complete asshole at every opportunity.

Unintentional Cersei Cleavage Shot

9) Ramsay Snow
POSITION OF POWER: Bastard of Roose Bolton/Acting Lord of the Dreadfort
EVIL RESUME: Tortured every inch of Theon Greyjoy, chopped of Theon's dingy and sent it to his dad, flayed the Ironborn at Winterfell, mentally broke down Theon until he accepted the name 'Reek', hunts and murders defenseless girls for pleasure.

10) Bogs
FICTIONAL UNIVERSE: Shawshank Redemption
POSITION OF POWER: Leader of the bull queer Sisters
EVIL RESUME: He spent his time in the clink leading a gang of rapers around the laundry room, beating their victims and raping them. Prison rapers are BAD people.
DID EVIL WIN: Byron Hadley beat Bogs so bad that he never walked again. No one ever touched Andy after that.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Shooter McGavin (Happy Gilmore),  Ralph Cifaretto (The Sopranos), Zed (Pulp Fiction), Jonah (Twister)


Thanks for reading. 121 days until LSU. Assuming it ever actually gets here, have a great summer and I'll see ya in August.

Always and forever, On Wisconsin

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