Thursday, October 2, 2014

at Northwestern

"I feel a lot better than I did about a month ago," [Stave] said. "Obviously, everything around that time was pretty emotional for me. I was upset and frustrated and everything that goes along with it. That's something that I had to work through, but I feel like I did a good job with that."


"He's starting to look like the old Stave getting his confidence back," Badgers wide receiver Kenzel Doe said after Tuesday's practice. "You definitely see him in more team reps. You can tell he's starting to get that confidence back, and he's starting to throw the ball like he used to."


"If things start to go bad or Tanner gets hurt, through this whole thing I've prepared mentally like I always would," Stave said. "I've watched film, taken notes and done what I need to do to feel like I have a good enough feel for the defense. So just continue to do that. If my number is called, then I'll be ready to go." (via)

Listen, we've seen the Tanner McEvoy show. It IS pretty cool having a 6'6 quarterback who can run and juke and take a hit. But it's kind of a lot cooler having a quarterback who can throw the ball with at least a TINY chance of hitting the receiver. Too many times we've seen McEvoy miss WIDE OPEN receivers. That's probably the most frustrating part: those 'layups' that Andersen is so adamant about completing are being missed with glaring inaccuracy. I will ALWAYS believe that if Stave was named the starter for the LSU game, he never would've gotten the shanks, and we would've won that game.

That's why I'm hoping Stave can get his head on straight and work his way back up the depth chart. This offense will NOT be able to thrive against Nebraska, Iowa, and maybe not even against Northwestern this weekend if it's purely one dimensional. Our running game is our bread and butter, but without the play-action throw as a viable threat, we're going to hit troubled waters. I do not like troubled waters.

So keep on keepin' on, Stave. It may be cloudy now, but the sunshine will poke through soon enough. Please.

CHICAGO BADGERS: Well, how about that? Will's IS providing bus transportation to the Northwestern game this Saturday. The tentative plan is to leave Will's around noon, get dropped off near the stadium, and then bus on back after the game. Price will be $25 and include beer on the bus. If you're interested, send me names. Also, if you have extra tickets to the game itself, let me know.




9) William S. Harley

Kind of a goon?

Well, he INVENTED the motorcycle. Kind of. He started Harley-Davidson, and since that's the first thing I think of when I think of motorcycles, I'm willing to make the leap. If we're being real, I've never been on a motorcycle. Completely terrified of them. Seem like death machines to me. I don't even mess around on mopeds. Why use two wheels when you can cruise in complete confidence on four?

Regardless, I'm pretty sure 60% of the jobs in the state of Wisconsin over the last century have been Harley-Davidson jobs. That's impressive. Frankly, there's not a lot of juice out there on William S. Harley. He died during WWII, so we don't really have a Twitter account to comb through. Rich people back then could literally get away with murder and no one could stop them. You know how people are like 'would you rather be rich and powerful now or in the ancient Roman times?' I think I'd like to be rich and powerful in the early 20th century. Technology was starting to do some cool things, corruption was still a thing that you could exploit... it was a good time to be a tycoon. I don't know if Bill Harley took advantage, but I like to think that he did. Motorcycle Tycoon is a badass title.

PS - Pretty sure I've already messed up this list because The Daddy-O of SpaghettiOs should be much, much higher.


10) J.J. Watt
Honorable Mention: The Daddy-O of SpaghettiOs


1) Michigan State, 3-1 (0-0). I want nothing more than a shot at MSU in Indy. I am also terrified and the opposite of confident in our chances of beating them. But I still want to dance.

2) Wisconsin, 3-1 (0-0). The UW Instagram account posted this picture the other day:

Are you aware of how crazy this is? Lying BACKWARDS AND UPSIDE DOWN on a hill? Yeah, sure, cool legpic. But I don't think it was worth the fact that this person UNDOUBTEDLY went tumbling boots over head all the way down Bascom shortly after this picture was taken. They're probably dead right now. All for a #legpic. #YOLPO, literally in this case.

3) Nebraska, 5-0 (1-0). Night game in East Lansing will tell us a lot about this conference.

4) Maryland, 4-1 (1-0). Annnnd my blood is now boiling:

At first I thought this was 30,000+ emails. But then I saw a co-worker's phone who had 10,000+... and there was no ellipse. That means... 300,000+ EMAILS. What the fuck is even the point of having email on your phone. How does one even RECEIVE 300,000 emails? I'm so annoyed I hate the world.

5) Rutgers, 4-1 (0-1). Check out the new guys being all better than terrible and not embarrassing the league yet!

6) Ohio State, 3-1 (0-0). Some bro ran on the field at the Ohio State game last weekend. He thought security was his biggest threat. This was a poor assumption:

That's the OSU strength coach giving this jabroni the Rock Bottom. Fucking awesome.

Wanna know what else is hilarious? The kid was an Evans Scholar, and apparently he might lose his scholarship. I'll be honest: I thought Evans Scholars were just dorkbot extraordinaires. Apparently that's the scholarship for caddies that requires like 45 interviews and background checks and GPA minimums. But I'm sure he'll look back fondly on this day and say it was TOTES worth it.

7) Indiana, 2-2 (0-1). How do you ride the momentum of beating a ranked SEC team on the road? You lose at home to Maryland by 22. LOGIC

8) Iowa, 4-1 (1-0). Kids got it all figured out:

Only thing the kid messed up was giving the 'no' option. Can't make it that easy for Ashley to turn you down.

9) Minnesota, 4-1 (1-0). Beating Michigan and getting that little jug means they FINALLY have something to put in their trophy case. I'm almost happy for them. LOL no I'm not.

10) Northwestern, 2-2 (1-0). Just ONCE I'd like to roll into Evanston and crush them without issue. It looked like this year was FINALLY going to be that year. But now they went to Happy Valley and embarrassed Penn State and buckle up because here we go. There will be a lot of points and even more stress on Saturday. Just the way it works.

11) Penn State, 4-1 (1-1). Christian Hackenberg was supposed to be the next big thing in the conference. It does not appear to be working, as he has a 4:6 TD:INT ratio. That is a bad ratio. I do, however, really like his name. HACKENBERG. Sounds like the last name in a multi-name law firm. When it comes to those law firm names, I always default to Habush, Habush, Davis & Rottier. If you grew up in Wisconsin, you heard their commercials ALL THE TIME. Christ, that music makes me feel 13 years old all over again.

But I grew up with Habush, Habush, Davis & Rottier. Somewhere along the way, Davis got cut out. What happened to Davis? Time for a BADGER PREVIEW INVESTIGATION:

SOURCE. And hoooo boy that source is a DOOZY. I can't even begin to understand the person that wrote that blog. They really pick it up a notch in the next paragraph:

But this anonymous legal blogger is right about a few things. Spiders ARE evil. And Rottier... is not so attractive:

Jesus, he looks like Chris Farley pretending to be a woman who spent 3 years on a meth farm. BTW, that's Rottier's mug shot after he was arrested for CANING his wife. I'm not even sure what's more surprising: a man caning his wife in the year 2014, or a woman seeing this thing and thinking, 'I wanna MARRY that thing!'

I'm sorry if you didn't grow up in Wisconsin and have no idea what's going on right now. But Davis disappeared off the face of the earth and Rottier turned into a 300 pound wife-caner. This is all a little much right now.

PS - If that blogger is right, then the Habush clan is well on their way towards world domination. Scary thought for the day.

12) Illinois, 3-2 (0-1). I'm sorry, I'm a little exhausted after all that bizarre Habush, Habush, Davis & Rottier talk.

13) Michigan, 2-3 (0-1). Things are going well for Michigan these days. For example, the football team is bringing joy to the fans:

Children all around Wolverine Nation are looking up to their football heroes:

And the students are rallying behind their president in the face of controversy:

The 'A' is extra bold, for Ann Arbor!

14) Purdue, 2-3 (0-1). Haven't seen a good Nic Cage movie since NT2: Book of Secrets. That was 7 years ago. It bothers me that no one else is concerned about the lack of Nic Cage cinematic masterpieces these days. I think we're ready for a Gone In Sixty Seconds sequel where he was to steal, like, a bunch of boats really fast or his mom will get killed.


With The Game prepping for a new album, it reminded me how truly epic his debut LP was. Higher was of of the most underrated tracks. (@DannyGoldin)

Young Chicago rapper singing bout dat Coltrane, dat Charlie Parker, dat Charles Mingus, dat Frank Sinatra.... (JQW)



Northwestern's Desire to Upset Wisconsin vs. Northwestern Fan Apathy

Do you want to know the #1 reason I'm excited to go to this game? Okay, fine, #2 reason, because seeing Gaglianone drop bombs in person is #1. The #2 reason is because I REALLY want to get a pic of a Northwestern fan reading a book in the stands. That's it. That's really all I got to get me excited to head out to Evanston Saturday. It's not the tailgate scene. It's definitely not the gameday atmosphere. If I wanted to see a sweet stadium, I'd pick a different road trip. Nope. My main motivation for making the trek to Evanston is that sliver of hope that I'll spy a nerd reading a book during a football game.

If you spot one, please please PLEASE ninja a pic for me.


Big one this weekend

Business trip to Evanston

And maybe some Buff's


Stick a GoPro on some train tracks and watch a train fly by at 75 MPH. I had no idea the pieces of wood on the tracks moved like that. Oddly interesting.

I love when these live newscasts go awry. This one went QUITE awry.

I would NEVER play poker with this guy.

Today I learned:

All of the sudden, Ron Burgandy telling Baxter that he doesn't speak Spanish makes ALL the sense.


Bacon-wrapped, CHORIZO-STUFFED dates with piquillo pepper-tomato sauce from Avec. I don't even KNOW what piquillo pepper-tomato sauce is, but I was dunking bread in it like there was no tomorrow. Admittedly, I'm not really a huge date fan. But you could stuff a volleyball with chorizo, wrap it in bacon, dunk it in piquillo pepper-tomato sauce and I'd eat 12 of them before surfacing for air.


I miss my old view. But at least the sky cooperated this night and threw me some hotness to ogle at. I am SHOCKED that 'ogle' isn't spelled 'oogle'. Never would've gotten that one right if the internet didn't give it the old red squiggly underlined treatment. HATE that treatment.


From Drew Magary's funbag:
Recently I was with my wife and a group of close friends while a news story recapped the night O.J. Simpson ran. We began discussing where we were and what we were doing that night and how weird it was. Because of what happened to me that night, I could clearly recall where I was. I told them I was at a friend's parents place that had a big house on one side of the huge property and a "barn" on the other side. The barn was more of a party place for derby parties and such, as half of it was a furnished apartment with wet bar and big screen etc. That night my buddy and I planned on watching the NBA Finals and enjoying some shrooms from the cow pasture next door. With recent rain, hallucinogenic mushrooms were plentiful if you didn't mind picking them out of cow shit. 
When the television coverage switched to O.J. on the run, we honestly thought we were hallucinating and kept asking each other if what we were watching was real. We drank and watched in utter amazement and laughing hysterically at how absurd it was. Later, after exhausting the alcohol supply, my buddy asked if I would drive across the property to the main house and get a 12-pack from the garage fridge. It was pouring rain, and I questioned if my Honda Civic would make it down the dirt road to the house, and he assured me it would, but told me to drive back in his Mom's new Jeep 4x4. A couple weeks before, a horse his mom owned since she was a teenager (nearly 30 years; I never knew horses lived that long) had died, and she was so grief-stricken that his dad bought the Jeep she had always wanted to cheer her up. 
On my way back to the barn with the beer, I decided to take a short cut, which went fine until I started to get stuck, and the front wheels of the Jeep began to sink and bog down. The more I tried to get out, the more the front of the Jeep sank. After churning up the mud for a couple minutes, I realized I wasn't getting loose and would have to walk back to the barn and get my friend and their tractor to pull it out of the stinking mud. And when I say stinking, I am not kidding: It literally smelled awful. I got back to the barn and told him what I had done, and he laughed and said we would pull it out the next morning because he was tripping too hard to function. After that I blacked out. 
I woke up the next morning on the barn sofa with his brother standing over me yelling at the top of his lungs. His mom was outside crying and losing her mind screaming at her son. Apparently I hadn't just gotten the Jeep stuck in some random spot, I had gotten it stuck in the grave of her horse and then sort of dug it up with the wheels. That was a long morning.


UGH. We should win this game. Everyone knows that. We're 8 point favorites playing against a team that lost at home to Cal and Northern Illinois. The crowd will be at LEAST 60/40 in favor of Wisconsin.

But this is Evanston. We do not do well in Evanston. It's going to be cold. It's going to be wet. I hate doing this, but here we go.





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