Thursday, February 26, 2015

Michigan State & at Minnesota

If you were upset for more than 8 seconds about losing that game against Maryland, then I think you need to check yourself. I probably should tell you that this team is fine, but I'm not going to. You should know that. You should know that the ceiling for this team has not changed for one second since the season started. The ceiling was not lowered when we lost at home to Duke. The ceiling remained unaffected by Trae's injury and the loss to Rutgers. The ceiling is perfectly in tact after Maryland got the best of us.

That ceiling was and always will be a three-pronged ceiling of SUCCESS:

  • B1G Regular Season Championship
  • B1G Tournament Championship
  • NCAA Tournament Championship

Lord knows how many of those things will actually happen. The B1G Regular Season Title is inches away. The two tournaments are one-and-done crapshoots where we have reasonably better odds than most. But nothing is guaranteed.

All I know is that this team is still fully capable of achieving its three-pronged ceiling of success. Other things I know:
  • Duje will snap out of his funk, and he's going to snap out of it at the best time possible. I'm gonna guess he hits multiple threes in one of the B1G Tournament games and then goes on a tear in the NCAAs.
  • You'd rather get your 'cold streak' out of the way in February than in March. I put 'cold streak' in quotes because if your 'cold streak' means losing one game and just being less than dominant in the 5 preceding wins, then you're fucking fantastic and should smile every day when you wake up.
  • When you're on the road in a hostile environment and can't catch a single break, you're going to lose sometimes. That happens. Questionable calls, untimely offensive rebounds... these things have a way of swaying the game. Last I checked, the postseason tournaments are played on neutral courts. We like neutral courts.
It's all good. Let's squash Izzo on Senior Day and stampede our way into the postseason.

CHICAGO BADGERS: If you're not aware, we're 44 days from Game of Thrones, under a month until 7 pm sunsets, and 5 weeks from Wrastlemania. Shit's about to get real.

HOUSEKEEPING NOTES: I'm sick of the BP email getting stuck in spam folders. New format going forward: first section will get sent out via email, everything else will be right here on the blog.





1) Wisconsin, 25-3 (13-2). This video is just now surfacing, right?

It kinda bothers me that Some DIGITAL HOARDER in Verona has been sitting on this beautiful, beautiful video for 20 years. Is that Camp Randall in the background? I guess you don't realize how much has been added to the stadium until you see it half naked like that.

Regardless - bet your bottom dollar that this video gets played at opportune times on the big screen at the Camp going forward. As well it should.

PPS - I won't bother going through all my favorite Farley sketches - we all know the genius he was playing with. But there's one that always realllllly gets a chuckle out of me for no good reason:

I've literally never even known who Wilson Phillips was. Then I saw Bridesmaids like 12 times and finally figured it out. But even THEN I never put 2 and 2 together. However...

Man. That shit is cracking me up so hard right now. That video is 6 seconds of pure comedic perfection.

2) Maryland, 23-5 (11-4). Congratulations! You're playing the role of 2013-2014 Nebraska! AKA beat us in a crazy environment at the end of the season in a game that has little bearing on anything else and will surely propel us right back to the Final Four. NEBRASKETBALL 2.0 STATUS ACHIEVED

3) Purdue, 18-9 (10-4). Am I the only one that struggles IMMENSELY with all the social aspects of Spotify? Sending a song to a friend, sharing a playlist, making a communal playlist... all of these things should be fucking BASIC. I think it's because of my steadfast refusal to intertwine my Facebook and Spotify accounts. I don't even resist because of privacy concerns... I just really like usernames instead of real names. Brandon Rifkin... shit, that's a dime a dozen. I DEMAND to be known by my internet name on Spotify.

As a result, half of my Spotify messages go through Facebook, which means I can't get rid of that damn notification on my phone until I log in on a computer. When did I become so Facebook stubborn?

PS - If you've never visited before, you're really missing out:

The world hasn't been the same since Big Philly Style passed away.

PPS - Can someone PLEASE make a Geocities-style website for me after I go to whichever afterlife has the most chicken tenders? Fuck a headstone. Obituaries are boring. I WANT WEB 1.0 MEMORIALIZATION

4) Michigan State, 19-8 (10-4). I know we're supposed to say 'it's right about now that Tom Izzo's teams are usually rounding into Final Four Form', but I'm not sure this team has the same threatening ability.

PS - I am so sorry I just threw a level 10 jinx on Sunday. I think by mentioning it I am DEJINXIFYING it.

5) Illinois, 17-10 (7-7). Back to Spotify - I don't think I know what my favorite genre of music is anymore. 'Rock' is way too generic and includes too much crap I hate. 'Alternative' seems close... but I demand BIGGER GUITARS. I've got this 'Indie Pop' playlist going now, but 4 out of every 7 songs are remarkably crappy. 'Alternative Rock'? Does that work? Perhaps I am just a musical bird not meant to be caged to any one genre.

PS - 'Genre' is one of those words that should be in the spelling bee part of the trivia challenge on The Challenge. Yeah, SEEMS like an easy word. But try spelling it on the spot when you're hanging upside down 60 feet over a dirty Uruguayan mud-river.

6) Indiana, 19-10 (9-7). As I'm writing this, they're losing by 14 to Northwestern. U RAH RAH NORTHWESTERN.


PS - Almost forgot: NEW CREAN THINGS!

PPS - One of the more obligatory Photoshops of my life:


7) Ohio State, 19-8 (8-6). I'm exhausted from all that Creaning.

8) Iowa, 17-10 (8-6). Or should we call you Northwestern Victim University?

9) Michigan, 14-13 (7-8). I sat here staring at my screen for a minute and realized I have absolutely nothing to say about Michigan and I can't use the NJIT thing again because I used it a few weeks ago. Let's take a look at Wisconsin's new uniforms for March:

I don't even think I'm a big fan of these the more I look at them, but I'm all about anything that involves experimenting with what are currently the most boring uniforms in the game. Throw big Motion Dubs on there, add stripes, do whatever the hell you want other than adding sleeves. We need a fresh look in the uniform game.

10) Northwestern, 14-14 (5-10). The Nerds are KILLING it! First time winning 4 straight B1G games since LBJ was in office. And of course it led to this!


PS - Those patent trolls are suing Apple for $500 million and Jeeves of AskJeeves fame is probably slinging handjobs for crack while Google does this:

Did those Russians behind Google ever pay tribute to Jeeves for basically forcing him out of the question and answer business by acting like asking search engines questions was foolish, and THEN turn around and start doing AskGoogle like they invented it? GARBAGE

PPS - It turns out AskJeeves turned into, and they're like the 36th most visited website in the world. I may have exaggerated Jeeves' downfall.

11) Minnesota, 16-12 (5-10). Can't thank Marty Beckwith enough for hooking us up with his absurdly good seats for the Minnesota game last weekend:

I had to crop Steve Stricker's head out of this picture. I also spent the entire game fighting off flashbacks of having the same seats on the other end of the court in the student section. It's really a different experience sitting that close. Like, we all know these guys are enormous, but you don't realize how fucking BIG they are until they're right in front of you. Nigel is at least 8 times bigger than I realized. Sam is longer than a battleship. IDK why 'battleship' was my go-to length exaggerator.

Anyway, I'm not above giving shoutouts here when a gift this generous is involved. So, thanks again Marty, and I'm sorry I out-hustled your hustle in darts.

12) Penn State, 15-13 (3-12). I'm awkwardly blogging right now while the office cleaning lady is emptying garbage cans around me. Basically, this.

13) Rutgers, 10-18 (2-13). This is your weekly reminder that we actually lost to these guys.

14) Nebraska, 13-14 (5-10). Any time your coach bans you from your locker room because you don't deserve to change in there, you have to do it. Gives you a story to tell your grandchildren about the time you disappointed every single person who believed that #NEBRASKETBALL was gonna be a thing.


Idk if this is big song. The tube says it kinda is....regardless its a gorgeous song and a sexy video. If you don't know, now you know n*gga. (JQW)

No good rap this past week, so I'll pass along Tove Lo's latest single. You know her from her hit "Habits (Stay High)", and she's the next in line of indie/electronic influenced female vocalists, following in the footsteps of Ellie Goulding, Lana Del Ray and Charli XCX. (@DannyGoldin)

Good job Indie Pop playlist! I kinda like this one! It's a little cheesy, but I dig cheesy from time to time.


UW's Ability to Rebound vs. Izzo's Dirty Voodoo Magic

Oh and I talking DOUBLE rebounding: rebounding from a loss and literally grabbing basketballs that have bounced off of the basketball hoop. EQUALLY IMPORTANT. Bo has the team drilled to treating every game as 40 minutes of hustle and discipline. But I am a fan and I require SWIFT JUSTICE. It's gonna be Senior/Dekker Day in the Kohl Center with Izzo in town. What else do you need to know. Grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.

PS - My team at work has been going HARD at the white cheddar popcorn lately. One guy even introduced JALAPEƑO white cheddar popcorn to the mix. Devious.


One thing we can't do

And that's lose on Senior Day

And/or Dekker Day



I mean, this is it. This is the best possible video the internet can conjure up. This video would be approximately 800x less funny if Maple didn't have that fucking incredible look on its face. I've watched this no fewer than 3 trillion times.

Did she backwards crawl through the window at the end? Regardless, this video gets an 8/10. SO MANY HOUNDS

Fuck this dog is definitely a better dancer than I am.

I don't know a lot in this world. But I do know for a fact that birds are the worst pets ever. You buy some goofy bird and think you're gonna get a hilarious one that runs around speaking toddler gibberish. The unfortunate reality is that 99% of pet birds are MONSTERS that don't shut up and dump all over the place... like real toddlers.


There is the current version of the Kohl Center Chicken Tender Basket (#KCCTB). I'll be honest - it's nowhere near as good as the version they were slinging when I was a student. With that said, it was still DELIGHTFUL. And for $8, you're getting elite stadium concession value. I still stay up late at night dreaming about the OG KCCTB's, but this KCCTB 2.0 will do just fine for now.


Rock solid sunset action out in Washington that my sister sent me. I don't think anything makes my sister as happy as finding a good picture for the BP. Even if this were a crappy pic I'd have to use it or she'd sibling disown me. Luckily it was a really good picture.








1 comment:

  1. Got a quote for you. I've been reading "famous last words" of death row inmates, which is fascinating. Here's one that is apropos to your blog:
    Inmate Thomas J Grasso had a bizarrely long list for his last meal, including a can of Spaghetti O’s. His last words were “I did not get my SpaghettiOs, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.” Yes, I’m sure the press really cared.