Best way to maintain a little momentum? Purdue comes to town. I refuse to lose to Purdue forever. Ever since we broke Kyle Orton and Scott Starks scooped up that fumble for a touchdown we cemented our dominance over them. Never again will they beat us. Nuh uh. No way.
CHICAGO BADGERS: 11 am Wisconsin game and a 7 pm Cubs NLCS game? Congratulations bars of Chicago, you win. You win, you take all my money, you swindle my dignity, and you leave me in a drunken heap at 4 am. This should be a good time for all. GO CUBS
BIG TEN FEAR RANKINGS
1) Michigan State, 6-0 (2-0). Barely beating RUTGERS? How?
2) Ohio State, 6-0 (2-0). Looking forward to the hotshot running back commit we had ending up at Ohio State. That seems totally fair.
3) Michigan, 5-1 (2-0). Do you remember BETTER CHEDDARS?
Next time I see a box of Better Cheddars I'm buying it and eating it in one sitting because I am WISCONSIN to the big bone.
4) Iowa, 6-0 (2-0). Still not sold.
5) Penn State, 5-1 (2-0). Mid-October: I am yet to watch a single minute of Penn State football.
6) Wisconsin, 4-2 (1-1). Hey Apple, next time you wanna try to swindle Wisconsin just remember the time you had to pay us a billion dollars for cheating. SUCK IT, NERDS
7) Northwestern, 5-1 (1-1). This is an amazing sports picture:
And I hope every Rangers fan is sobbing their eyes out over the bat flip. "Unwritten rules". "Play the game the right way". "Set a good example for children". You mean children like #MiniBautista?
#MiniBautista channelling his batting chi again... @JoeyBats19 ⚡️CRUSHES⚡️it outta here #bluejays #ComeTogether pic.twitter.com/VLyhnlDhsE— y- Benn (@Benn2Ns) October 14, 2015
Bat flips 4 ever.
8) Illinois, 4-2 (1-1). Third time to San Francisco and I still have not payed homage at the Mrs. Doubtfire house. I am ashamed of myself.
9) Indiana, 4-2 (0-2). Last week we looked at the impossible math problem. Here are some explanations offered up:
10) Minnesota, 4-2 (1-1). It was a great moment in my life when I realized Milos' wife in Seinfeld is the saleswoman at the lingerie store in Enemy of the State. Those little connections are why I watch things I've seen millions of times before.
PS - Ooooo, Skyler from Breaking Bad is the evil politician's wife in this movie! She needs to start fictionally dating better men. I'm judging you very hard, Skyler.
11) Nebraska, 2-4 (0-2). I love how we toy with Nebraska. It's not very nice, but it's extremely enjoyable.
12) Maryland, 2-4 (0-2). Never a good sign when the whole internet knows your coach is fired for like a week before he's officially told.
13) Purdue, 1-5 (0-2). LOL purdue
Rutgers) Rutgers, 2-3 (0-2). #ExpelRutgers
RANDOM MUSIC WE'RE DIGGING HARD THIS WEEK
You smell that? Testosterone. (JQW)
MATCHUP TO WATCH
My ability to care about this game vs. My attempts to not puke from nervousness about the Cubs game. These double dippers are DANGEROUS. Is it bad that I'm not amped up for UW/Purdue in what is shaping up to be a solid-at-best season? Here, let's not worry about Saturday and just think about what's really important:
Three favorite things about that play:
3) Starks doing the thing where you hold the ball in front of your chest while running. That's the most defensive back thing of all-time.
2) The announcers helping out the replay official:
1) "What a turnaround! A cataclysmic turn of events! Touchdown, Badgers!" That is how you seize the moment in the booth.
PS - Am I the only person surprised that video reviews were in play back then? This was pre-HD!
THIS WEEK'S GAME IN HAIKU
No way we lose this
Above all else, remember
Can't wait to see this on America's Funniest Videos in a few months. I can't even decide which part about this is my favorite.
How old are these kids? What was my equivalent when I was a child? The Macarena? I can't think of any other song that would've come on when I was like 8 years old that would've stopped me in my tracks to dance in the middle of a football game.
3 on 3 overtime for the NHL makes all the sense. This is also why soccer should take away one non-goalie every 5 minutes in extra time. Start the first half of extra time with 9 field players and make one guy run off every 5 minutes. By the time the second half of extra time started, each team would have 6 field players and finish the last 5 minutes of the game with 4 field players a side. That would be AWESOME. They would also die from exhaustion at the end because of how much space they'd have to cover.
But 4 on 4 full field soccer with the best players on the teams on their last legs for for a few minutes of chaos? Who wouldn't watch that? So much better than MLS' solution with the dumb penalty shots.
I love this, and I love it even more because it reminds me of...
Oh Travis, how I miss you...
Straight from the airport in San Francisco we made a stop at In-N-Out. Now, I love me some In-N-Out, but is it the best in the world? CASUAL BURGER CHAINS, RANKED:
5) Culver's. Don't need to do anything fancy to make a very satisfying burger and fries. I'm evaluating all of these with a standard burger and fries order, so the fact that I love their chicken tenders doesn't move the needle here.
4) Shake Shack. I know it's super trendy right now, and I do enjoy the food... I'm just not completely blown away after going back for a second visit. Still, really good. Better crinkles + cheddar than Culver's bumps them up.
3) In-N-Out. I think they'd be higher if they salted their fries a little after frying them. I get 'em Animal Style regardless, but the fries themselves aren't the best. If I could get any of these other guys' fries Animal Style I would die.
2) Five Guys. Bonus points for thicker patties than most of the rest here, unlimited toppings, and CAJUN FRIES. With the bonus scoop in the bag! #MakeAmericaFatAgain
1) M Burger. Double M Burger +jalapeños, -pickles, fries, two sides of sauce... that's how you cheat for lunch on a Friday. The bacon and sauce team up with the jalapeños for a bucket of flavor, and the fries are exactly what skinny fries should be. This place just does casual burgers right.
Gorgeous sunset over a packed Wrigley as Harry Caray leads 42,000+ in the stretch while the Cubs crush the Cardinals to move on to the NLCS? Yeah that sounds about right.
PS - Not to hammer everyone's face with Cubs talk, but it's offensive that the Cubs do anything for the stretch other than play Harry singing 'Take Me Out To The Ballgame' on the big screen. That's why you got the screen. No more D-list celebrities yammering in the box about their latest shitty movie. No more people who root for other teams. Just let Harry take us home every game. It's so simple and yet the Cubs will NEVER figure it out.
LOL purdue. THE PICK:
WISCONSIN 87, LOL purdue 0