But it's fine. We'll take the easy wins to pump the record. In all honesty I'm rather enjoying a low-stress season. A loss on a Saturday puts everyone in a pootie mood. But this year? This year we're all just having fun and throwing back beers and living the high life.
CHICAGO BADGERS: 11:00 am game on Halloween Saturday in Madison and brace yourselves here come the 'WE SHOULD TAKE THE STUDENT SECTION AWAY FOREVER BECAUSE THEY DON'T APPRECIATE IT ENOUGH' tweets.
PS - Costumes are encouraged at Will's. Rumors swirling that there's a prize for the best costume.
PPS - I just made that rumor up but I bet if we believe it hard enough it could happen.
BIG TEN FEAR RANKINGS
1) Ohio State, 8-0 (4-0). They let Rutgers score? Getting a little sloppy I think.
2) Michigan State, 8-0 (4-0). Inching closer towards 10-0 MSU at 10-0 OSU. That's pretty cool. #B1G
3) Iowa, 7-0 (3-0). My company had a costume thing during a party on Tuesday and someone went as the whichever shark it was from the Super Bowl halftime show last year. Or at least it feels like it was last year. Hasn't that window closed? That was like the first week in February. Might as well go as Donald Trump for Halloween 2k16 while you're at it.
4) Penn State, 6-2 (3-1). Better be careful now that really smart and important nerds have determined that eating red meats is going to give us all cancer. We'll have to add that to the list of... everything else in the goddamn world that is going to give us all cancer. Bury me smilin', meat in my pocket.
5) Wisconsin, 6-2 (3-1). So the UW-Madison Police Department was tweeting that they were out enforcing bike/pedestrian safety, and some bro started blasting them saying it was basically a shakedown. In response, they tweeted out a few videos of bike/pedestrian accidents that looked TERRIBLE. I loved this guy's last shot, though:
6) Michigan, 5-2 (2-1). May the losses mount faster than we can count.
7) Northwestern, 6-2 (2-2). Actually pretty impressed with that win in Lincoln. I get the feeling Fitzgerald will be coaching these guys for the next 30 years.
8) Indiana, 4-4 (0-4). Well I'll give you this: you put up a good fight.
9) Illinois, 4-3 (1-2). Yup. Weird game (Stave concussed), meh weather, closer than it had to be but we still pulled it out. Can't imagine myself ever going to a game there to see that crap.
10) Minnesota, 4-3 (1-2). No jokes about Kill resigning. Really sad news and hopefully he can sort out (or at least control) his medical issues.
11) Nebraska, 3-5 (1-3). There's really no reason for Nebraska to ever be a national power again, and I find that positively delightful.
12) Maryland, 2-5 (0-3). Snapchat just released another A++ update. First we had rainbow puke. Now we get the ability to put any video snap in reverse, slow motion, or fast forward? That's brilliant. There have been way too many times I've taken a video normal and wished I could slo-mo it after the fact. Bang, Snapchat just changed the game.
Snap vids are about to be flying off the reservation. Is that a saying?
Rutgers) Rutgers, 3-4 (1-3). Trounce City, Population Rutgers
14) Purdue, 1-6 (0-3). LOL purdue
RANDOM MUSIC WE'RE DIGGING HARD THIS WEEK
Had a hot 3 week stretch where I was really digging this song. Moving on.
MATCHUP TO WATCH
Sunshine's Mental Strength vs. Spooky Concussions. I actually originally wrote 'spooky confessions' by mistake, so let's do some spooky confessions:
- I think everything avocado is disgusting because 'mushy' is not an adjective I like for food
- A little part of me was hoping Houston would fail because I couldn't handle the 'I TOLD YOU SO' Twitter barrage that would follow
- I will probably shed a tear or two when Bo actually does hang up the cleats
- I just measured my bicep with a tape measure
- Chocolate candy is a million times better than sweet candy, HOWEVER I kinda like eating candy corn ONLY if you three-bite each one by color
- I think Homeland is still very enjoyable. Actually, with The Walking Dead and The Leftovers, I think Sunday night TV es en fuego right now.
THIS WEEK'S GAME IN HAIKU
I say it right now:
If we somehow lose this one
Then I'm on to hoops
It is so wonderfully amusing when dogs are tricked by TVs. But this video would just be good if it didn't lead me to a new hotness:
Dying. Where has this video been all of my life? Always thought pugs looked like aliens, and then the pug in Men In Black WAS an alien, and now we get PUG FILES, which is a pug-centric smash hit about aliens? It's all working. Everything is in sync.
I love a random check-in on what weird shit Japan is up to on the internet. Biita, Biisuke and Biigoro are such adorable little friends.
PS - How long to set up that contraption and how many attempts before it all played out perfectly? Japan's probably the most fascinating culture in the world.
Mad impressed with how calm the guy was when he discovered a drunk bro sleeping in his bed. This video does kind of make sense though because you really do go on autopilot at the end of the night when you're all tuned up. I don't think I ever went back to an old apartment by mistake, but I've definitely made some questionable geographic decisions.
Next time I go I'm getting a chicken/egg/cheese sandwich and I can't WAIT.
PS - This was the first time I was stumped on the 'do you want any sauces?' question. Did they have special BREAKFAST sauces? Is there some kind of honey-smoked syrup I don't know about? Fudge it just give me some Chick-fil-A and buffalo and I'm good to go.
PPS - I'm aware this isn't the best picture I've ever taken, but I was just very excited and had like 6 minutes to eat before a meeting. DWI.
Still tracking towards the ugliest 10-2 team in football history. But winning ugly is so much better than losing ugly, so we have to just roll with it for now. And we gonna keep on rolling in Madison this weekend. THE PICK:
WISCONSIN 36, Rutgers 2